[10] Soft Elbows

[10]

I guess I am getting good at this dangling around because I think I just spent a couple hours with almost nothing on my mind. I mean, a car pulled up a little while ago. I heard two doors slam shut. A woman's voice said, "Robert, don't forget your glasses, Robert, Robert!" And then there was a man's voice, "Fucking hell! I heard you the first time!" And then I heard the doors slam shut. I mean, sorry, I didn't mean to say the doors slammed shut twice, I just mean that I heard the thing and then the doors slammed shut. I mean, I don't mean to repeat myself. I mean, I just think details are important. I suppose. I mean, I guess that is all I am saying.

Since then there has been no movement outside. I guess the couple went into the offices. Probably talking to the Matron. Paying for a room or whatever. Maybe they are going to take over Tony's room? I wish I could warn them that the Matron didn't really do anything in there aside from possibly take a nap and make the bed and probably a nap and fart one out. I mean, I guess they must have some sort of idea what they are getting into? Or maybe, like me, they are expecting something better. I mean, the Red Roof Inn kind of means that this is a chain hotel. I mean, in name only, I guess. But still, they did pull into the parking lot. They did get out of their car. They did go to the offices. I think. I mean, they haven't driven away in disgust yet. I mean, as far as I can tell. But, Oh shit! They are coming in here.

"Room three." The man is wearing a business hat. He is short and compact. A suit. Glasses. Robert.

"I really don't understand why you do that everytime." The woman is also short and compact. She has very curly hair. A perm? She is wearing a dress that looks very thick.

"What did I do this time?" The man is holding a suitcase. Looking around. The woman is holding a medium-sized bag.

"Everytime we come into a room. Room Three." She is mocking him. "Can't you just look with your eyes instead of your mouth? Oh, the bed is a queen." Robert just frowned. The woman put the bag on the bed. She has her back to Robert. Robert put the suitcase on the floor.

"It smells in here." Robert is looking in the bathroom. "The bathroom seems okay." The woman is opening the curtains. The light. Ughh. The room is disgusting.

"I don't know why you can't spring for a decent hotel." The woman is now sitting on the bed. Bouncing a little. Testing it out.

"It isn't so bad. It's one night. I told you, the company won't pay me back if I spend more." Robert is now out of the bathroom. He is also bouncing on the bed. Testing it out.

"But look at the carpet? It is like a thousand vomits."

"I doubt they are vomits, my guess is that they are more likely just mud stains. The oil workers stay here."

"But the smell?"

"All I can smell is cigarettes."

"My point exactly."

"Gay, I told you, it is just one night. Plus, feel how bouncy the bed is! Think about the fun we can have later. It's a queen!"

"Yeah, right. Two seconds of fun and a whole night of gas and snoring."

"You don't know that."

"What, did you take a class or something, Don Marko?"

"Don Marko?"

"You know who I mean, that guy with the horse."

"Zorro?"

"I don't know, the guy that liked the ladies, the one from our show."

"The guy that makes the quiches?"

"I thought you had to use the bathroom?"

"Oh! Right." Robert went back into the bathroom. The fan is on. Gay turned the tv on. It is warming up. There are noises. Gay is frowning. Now there is noise. From the tv. Gay is trying to find something to watch. There are only two channels it turns out. A talk show and a movie. She has settled on the talk show. There are two women talking to each other. Gay is sitting on the end of the bed. I can see outside. The parking lot is empty. Aside from Robert and Gay's car. It is a 2002 Chrysler Sebring normal colored. That is a little odd. Not that odd. The car was quite popular at one point. But under these circumstances it is odd. Gay just got up. She put the suitcase on the bed. Opened it. She is putting clothes into the dresser under the tv. That seems like a bad idea. To me. If there is bed bugs, I mean. I wouldn't do that if I were her. I mean, I yelled. Just now. She didn't hear me. I mean, I yelled, "Don't do that!" But whatever. She is finished putting clothes away. She is sitting down on the bed again. Looking at the tv. I can hear washing in the bathroom. Robert has come out.

"Shut the door! Keep the fan on!" Robert turned the fan back on. Shut the door. Gay has a skewed face now.

"What?" Robert seems embarrassed. "I had to go."

"I will wait for you at the car."

"I'm ready."

"You got the key?"

"I thought you had it?"

"I don't...ugh! I will be outside."

"Wait! Here it is!"

Robert and Gay have left. The tv is still on. The curtains are still open. I can see them get into the 2002 Chrysler Sebring normal colored. Robert is driving. Gay looks annoyed. Robert is looking behind himself. Backing up. Turning around. Now they are pulling out of the parking lot.

Well, okay then. I guess I should be glad I can't smell anything, but what the fuck! I mean, I guess Sniffles aint coming back. And me, I guess I won't be coming back for the good part of my brain that is dangling from this shit smelling skanky motel with puke for carpets and a queen bed. What the fucking hell was that though! Robert and Gay on some business trip? Staying in the Red Roof Inn because his company won't pay for a hotel? I mean, what the hell does that mean? And where the hell were they going? Lunch? What about me? What about my needs? That was the best entertainment I have had in days now. I mean, at least they could have boned or something. Maybe gotten into an argument. I mean, that is bullshit. I mean, I guess they left the tv on, but I don't want to watch tv. And I guess they left the curtains open, but if Sniffles and my body aint coming back, what is the point? I mean, watching the Matron push that cart back and forth not doing her job? I mean, now she won't even come in here to fart one out. I will have to wait until tomorrow morning for that to happen if anything means anything. I mean, I guess this business couple will come back at some point. They left all their shit here. But still. I mean, I guess I am okay with that. I mean, I don't have anything else to do. But still, I mean, Sniffles! You fucker. I mean, if I could feel any real emotions I would be pissed as shit. This is the worst possible news. I mean, I am officially alone in my endeavors. I mean, what can I do now? Nothing. That is what. I mean, there is no spray that is coming around to release me from my bounds. I mean, nobody even knows I am here. I mean, not that I know of. I mean, who knows. Maybe my body is out there living life without any sort of conscience. Just playing catch with JuJu Beans. Like maybe he bought a new tennis ball or something. I mean, who the hell knows? I mean, he isn't coming back. I know that now. I mean, maybe he is getting a job somewhere. In Casper. Just because. I mean, if I am here, then where is he? Who is he? I wonder if he knows about all that money hidden in the apartment. I mean, maybe he is on his way to California now. Retiring. Going to rent some thing on the beach or something. I mean, that is what I would do. Start a new life. With a dog. Forget all the Casper bullshit. The Greeley bullshit. The Sniffles bullshit. The Jelly bullshit. The Lander bullshit. I mean, what the hell?

I don't fucking know. I mean, you try and help a guy out and this is the thanks you get. Just dangling around watching domestic assholes take shits in tight quarters. I mean, I don't know if Robert and Gay are assholes, but they don't seem like the cutest couple in town. I mean, Gay seems like an asshole. Robert seems clueless. They drive a good car, I can say that about them. I mean, that is the kind of car I would drive if I wasn't stuck to the corner of some skanky motel in Lander just dangling around with nothing better to do then watch people acting like people. I mean, if that is what is really going on. I mean, I swear I must be cursed. There must be a reason for this, right? I mean, god, toying with my emotions. And that same god taking my emotions away when I need them the most? I mean, right? What the fuck? I can't catch a break at all! All I can do is just sit here brooding without any brood. I mean, I want to punch something but I have no desire to punch anything. I mean, do you know what I mean? I got nothing to do but do nothing. And the worst part is, I don't fucking care. I mean, I do care, but only in the way that I am just sick of it. I mean, not really sick of it, if I could feel anything I would be sick of it, but I don't. I just feel numb. Stupid. Alone and bored. Like some dangling worm dried out on the sidewalk. I mean, I don't even know what I mean. I mean, what the hell? What did I ever do to deserve this? I mean, true, I am kind of hunk of junk, but not really. I mean, I haven't done anything wrong. Not in any real sense of the word. Anything. I mean, anything wrong. I mean, I have pulled a few fast ones in my day, but the shit I did benefited people. I mean, myself included, but still, it's not like I went around killing little kids just to piss my mom off. I mean, I don't want to talk about that. I mean, I told you before that some things just happen. I mean, I don't know what I am saying. All I am saying, is this. What the fuck? I mean, Sniffles! Where the fuck are you? I mean, in theory he has the room for the rest of the week. But maybe not? Maybe that ruse with JuJu Beans played itself out? And maybe he just went around the back of the motel and met with the Matron and gave her some money after he showed up here half-sweaty with the Lander Valley Tigers duffel bag? I mean, maybe that is why he left the door open? To signal to the Matron to meet him in the back or something? I mean, and who the fuck is Tony? I mean, I didn't want to say it before. I mean, for reasons I guess. But Tony? Fucking Tony? Of all the names in the world, Tony? I mean, it can't be the same guy from jail, right? I mean, that guy has to still be in jail. Right? They wouldn't let him out, right? I mean, the dude killed a little kid just to piss his mom off. I mean, I don't want to talk about it, but still, I mean, that is just coincidence, right? What did the other guy say? "Tony! Let's roll!" I mean, that doesn't mean anything. Lots of people are named Tony. Anthony, Antonio, I mean, Toni, like a girls name. I mean, right? I mean, I don't mean to be paranoid, but that name is just, I mean, just, I mean, shit, I doubt it means anything. There are Tonys everywhere. It is just an accident that the Tony that is staying here is named Tony. Right? I mean, I don't even know. I would believe anything at this point. Being stuck like this. Dangling. Just watching things like this. I don't fucking know. I mean. The curtains are open. I mean, maybe the new Tony will come back and I can have a look-see? I mean, why not? And who knows? Maybe Sniffles is coming back and the Matron just assumes he won't? I mean, maybe that is why she came in here twice. Just to double check that he hasn't been around? I mean, or it is the same old thing. That she is hoping he will come back and catch her in his room and want to bump uglies or whatever? I mean, what the hell do I know? All I know is that I just have to dangle here like a fool while everyone else is out there having a good time. I mean, what the actual fuck? I mean, I just spend my life being abused and ignored and then here I am when my friend begs me to come help him and he does a fake drink maneuver and drugs me so he can still some dumb dog back from a greasy Matron that loves to fart one out after taking a nap? I mean, how are either of them any better than I am? They are the ones that should be dangling here! Not me! I am the good one! I swear it! I stopped drinking, mostly, I only eat ice cream sandwiches anymore, I mean, when I get the chance, when I am not being lured into bullshit skanky motel rooms to get drugged and faked out, I mean, what the fuck? In what world am I the bad guy? I mean, not this one! I will tell you that!

Whoa! Hold on. I just felt it again. That hotel room feeling of tight sheets. Shit. I lost it.

But still! I mean, who the hell did this to me? I don't think it. Nope. Lost it. Fuck. I mean, there was something there. But it went away again. I mean, now I just feel like I am faking it. I mean, I do, in fact feel this way, but it isn't doing the thing I wanted it to do. I mean, I won't lie, I have felt this way before. Many times. I mean, not in the last couple days, I mean, I mean, I mean I don't mean to say that I don't feel shit. I just mean to say that, I don't even know, just dangling like this, I mean, aside from being jealous of my own body going around like that with JuJu Beans, I mean, I don't even know. I mean, I have some troubles with emotions. Maybe we should just end it like that. I mean, I don't want to talk about it.

Anyway. This tv show is okay. It is about a guy with a car. I like cars. They drive around. I guess this guy really likes his car. I will tell you more about it if something interesting happens.