[100] Screed City

[100]

02/20/2022 Sunday. Cushioned Stool. Room 410. Home 2 Suites by the Airport. Albany, New York.

Special edition 100th Screed. I don't know how this is special, but it is number 100! We did it everyone! We believed in ourselves, worked really hard and all our dreams came true! I am taking everyone out to Red Lobster when we finally all get together.

I guess this is it. The JOB. I mean, yikes. Hold on to your butts for an annoying few weeks. I mean, really the job itself is cake. Aside from all the heavy lifting and dangerous bullshit, it is really very straight forward. But we will see. I will find out quite a bit first thing tomorrow. Like how racist everyone is. And if the stage is just a garbage dump of frustration. If the welders did their work right. If I have to wear two pairs of socks. I mean, as Scott put it "The first day will be un-fucking the stage." I mean, I really don't know what I am walking into. The Big Boss was very little help. I mean, I think his priorities are a little different from mine. I mean, I don't expect him to have all the answers. I mean, I guess I don't really expect him to have very many answers at all. His job is not my job. I mean, my job is to make his job get done. I mean, I doubt the work site conditions mean very much to him, in a way. I mean, I think they mean a lot, but just in the sense that the work can get done. I mean, he took me aside today at the shop, right before I left and said:

"Joe, I need you understand that you shouldn't stress about this job. It is what it is. It just needs to move forward. If there are any problems, any at all, get in touch with me first before you do anything." Then he shook my hand.

I mean, this means that the pressure is off. Not that it ever was really on, but still. I mean, I have been a little worried about this job, but it will be what it is at this point. Show up at 7a work until 3p. What gets done gets done. Tomorrow we unfuck the stage. Tuesday we move head blocks and loft blocks. Wednesday we hang the dead points and maybe start running cable. Thursday we maybe start moving shit from the connex to the stage. I mean, I think we won't get the Box Truck until then. If even then. And if we can't get the Box Truck then who the hell knows what we are going to do. Hire UPS to move the shit for us? Take it piecemeal. I mean, those are jokes, but the piecemeal joke is incredibly cruel. I mean, I have to take the Sprinter van Beethoven back to the shop on Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. Which means that I will then have the smaller van. I mean, job alone seems like it will take two days. Just moving shit. Even if we can move it. I mean, that depends on the condition of the stage. Anyway. Whatever.

We tapped the sweet-sweet Maple trees today. Me and the Publisher. It only took three hours. I mean, twenty minutes of work. It was very difficult. The hillside there. I mean, we wore snow shoes. Not because of the snow but because the shoes have those metal teeth. I mean, I really thought I might break a bone. The rocks. The sliding greens. The vertical landscape. I mean, it really was awful. But it got done and it made me feel better about being in Vermont. I mean, the place is beautiful if you can get outside and do shit. If you are stuck inside, I mean, then it is just dark and frustrating and painful. But the day was nice and sunny. A freezing wind only blew some of the time. Grit was stuck at the Double Wide Manor doing nine year old stuff. Calling the Publisher on the walkie-talkie every ten minutes hoping she would come back and make her a sandwich. Which was kind of funny. I talked to G later in the day and they were trying to make a sandwich. Then I talked to Professor Curly and she was eating a sandwich. I mean, I guess it was a day of sandwiches.

But the Maples are tapped. We put the big jug at the bottom of the main line. The main line sticking into the hole at the top. Waiting for juices. I cranked the come-along until the wire got as tight as it could get. I mean, it could have maybe gotten tighter. Scott will have to look at it. I didn't have the ability or desire to try and get a few more inches out of the thing. I mean, it will involve moving the come-along, which, I mean, that means shortening the tension wire. I mean, I am capable of doing such a thing, I just didn't have the time. I mean, I had to haul ass to work by 2p. I mean, also, there was one of the lines also that needs some attention. Maybe some hose shortening. But aside from that, I think we did a pretty good job. Considering the conditions. I mean, I would have liked to spend more time with it, but yesterday was a snow storm so we couldn't work. And today, like I said, I had to haul ass to work. I mean, aside from nearly breaking bones, the only other thing that sucked was when I was cranking the come-along down, bent over to do something I can't remember what and the fucking handle swung around and brained me. That was irritating. I screamed at the thing. Then I felt stupid.

Yesterday I spent the day cleaning the house. Making Cubby Bubbys for this week's victuals. Among other things I can't really remember. I know I did a lot of dishes. I vacuumed for a while. Then the vacuum stopped working. I did some sweeping. Stacked some things on the eating table. Dinner table? I mean, what do you call a table that gets used sometimes to eat on but kind of never gets used unless there are other people around? I mean, we only have one. But we don't really having a dining room per se. Whatever. The eating table. I tried to do my taxes. Found out I owe about $2,000 dollars. Which sucks. But I think if I hire an accountant it will be worth it. I mean, I need to do that anyway. I have old taxes I need to do. I was just hoping to start them by doing last years taxes. But nope. I mean, most of my income was from UnEmployment. Which, I mean, isn't that a tax in the first place? How can they charge you a tax on a tax? I mean, the answer is simple, you are supposed to use the shit as it is intended. It's just we live in such a bullshit Society that the mere idea of collecting UnEmployment is so shameful that you should kill yourself before even starting to think about using the shit for what it is supposed to be used for. I mean, what kind of asshole would use their savings when they run out of work? That is UnAmerican. Savings are Socialist don't you know? I mean, a tax on your savings? I don't get it. If you are getting UnEmployment that should be tax free. I mean, or it should just be less the tax. I mean, I really don't understand it. It is not complicated. It is simple. The Right hate the working class. The Left tries to help the working class. The only way the Right will agree to helping the working class is to be okay with this ONE tax. Whatever. I can't talk politics so you won't get to hear what I really think about it. Sucks to be you. But still. I now owe $2,000 bucks for collecting savings. I mean, I need an accountant to help me do some deductions for the thousands and thousands and thousands of other taxes I pay just for being alive and being poor. You know, like pretty much every dollar I spend.

At some point the Publisher came over and had me follow her and Grit to our friends house to return a mini-van. Which, like I said before, there was a snow storm. We couldn't go up Maston Hill or the Post Office Hill in Granville. We had to go through the canyon and take the Town Line Road. Which, I mean, fuck. Junior Mint is a front wheel drive kind of car. With like two inches of clearance on the bottom. The mini-van wasn't much better. But we did it. We got there. Nobody went into the ditch. And then we drove back down. Down Post Office Hill. It was sketchy as shit.

I mean, after that I took them back to the Compound. Went back to Beaver Haus. Did some more stuff. Tried to write. Ended up just writing Scott a personal Screed City. We were talking about the math problem in the last Screed City. How it was nonsense. I mean, I knew it was nonsense, I just didn't make that clear. But it led to a discussion about the nature of perceived math and how there is a whole contingent of people out there trying to solve the question of Pi and what that means. I mean, sometimes I think I should slow down and clearly and calmly not write things. But I don't. It won't change. But then, if I am going to write them, I should make my intentions more clear. What do the bridesmaids call that? Going off half-cocked? I shouldn't go off half-cocked. But I do. And maybe it is good. It starts conversations sometimes. And the whole point of any of this is just having a conversation. I mean, I listened to Christian radio today. And for the first time ever, I mean, I like to listen to that stuff sometimes because it is interesting how there is always a very practical problem that people have and the one way to solve it is with god. And, I mean, 99% of the time that is not the best solution. But people like to believe in god. I don't hold that against anyone. But my god! The amount of hate and vitriol that was coming out of this program. Saying stuff like "Jesus was the first person to be cancelled." And "Stand up for your rights, just because society doesn't like your views doesn't mean you are wrong." And those views are: Homosexuals are all going to hell. And Critical Race Theory is racist. I mean, it is nuts. The White American Christian Nation is actually declaring war on Society right now. It will not end well. And these fuckers are funded by the Government. Speaking of tax breaks. It is very scary. It makes me very nervous. Not because I fear for my life, but because there is no talking any sense. I mean, the whole point of all of the supposed culture bullshit that is happening is we are trying to have a conversation. Nobody is getting canceled. Sure, some people are being asked to defend their actions, but the Government is not saying you can't be White and Christian, but they believe it. And, I mean, AND! Racism is not a culture war.

I mean, whatever. I really hope it backfires. That the Fundamentalist White Christian Nation realizes that they are just pushing people further away from their religion. I mean, I am not a god dude, but I understand that people feel better when they think god is involved with their lives. But that doesn't mean that you should hate everything that isn't exactly what you are. I mean, I don't think they realize how big of impact they are making on the younger members of our Society. I mean, I am probably wrong. I was wrong when I thought that America wouldn't choose racism. And it did. I was wrong when I thought America would reject Facebook. But it didn't. It is the only way to get your stuff out there, they said. It really works, they said. Yet here we are. I mean, whatever. My ability to be shocked about things has left the building. As the bridesmaids say. There will eventually be a breaking point. When nothing matters anymore. Then, sadly, the assholes will win. And like all things American, it won't really matter for me because I am White and I am Straight and I am male. And I find that the most tragic of all of it. I mean, I don't mean that like the biggest tragedy of the Racist Right is that poor White guys like me have to feel bad a little bit sometimes but it doesn't matter because I am just exhausted and can tune out because what does it matter? But the tragedy is that the conversation will just stop. Luis CK will just keep whacking his tiny dick in front of people. Because he is FUNNY! His jokes are really funny. We have to keep him making millions of dollars because he is funny. I mean, the real irony of that is that comedy is instantly outdated. I mean, comedy dies on the vine as the bridesmaids say. And it does, it really does. We are fighting a culture war about something that in five years will be so outdated that nobody will even remember it. Or if they do it will not be worth defending because by then there will be about one million new funny things that are just as "Revolutionary." I mean, go back and watch his blue collar sit-com. IT SUCKS. It is just not good. His stuff on Parks and Rec is not good. I mean, even his Luis thing sucked. I mean, I think that, I didn't like it at the time, I still don't like it. I understand why people did like it, but I don't think it will age well. I mean, at least the Cosby Show is worth watching. I mean, the cultural significance, but Luis? His whole thing was just being a toxic piece of garbage. How the hell is that going to be funny in the future? And I am not saying you shouldn't watch it if you want to. Or that it shouldn't be out there in the world. What the fuck do I care? I am just saying it was crap to begin with. And to fight to keep that alive is a losing battle that will age out. And soon.

I mean, I think I had a point in all of this, but I can't recall. It had something to do with math and Albany and living in Society and work. I mean, I brought some homemade Ticklers with me. I couldn't bring more because the champagne yeast is slower than the industrial yeast that I was using. The things were still bubbling when I brought them up to G's room. I mean, I had to move a bunch of shit up to G's room. Professor Curly is going to be at Beaver Haus on like Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. I didn't want to leave a big mess for her like last time. When she yelled at me about the clock on the night stand not having working batteries. I mean, relationships, am I right? Who yells at a guy for letting the clock batteries run out? I mean, I think it might have been about something else, but I never figured out what. I mean, I think, really, it was about how I maintain my surroundings, but the truth is, I do get pretty sloppy. I mean, there is a lot of ins and outs when I don't have anyone else around to give me the grief. I mean, I blame Society. Getting annoyed with your partner is 99% just reacting to Society. I mean, everyone has dirty socks. We just need a way to talk about those dirty socks without getting upset that they don't end up in the dirty clothes hamper. Right?

It is all just a conversation. Conflict is not abuse. Sarah Schulman said that. And she might be one of the most annoying people on the planet. I mean, if she is capable of self-reflection, we all should be capable of self-reflection.