[124] Screed City

[124]

04/07/2022 Thursday. Kitchen Microwave. Beaver Haus. Lower Granville, Vermont.

Well, I am a little all over the place. I slept like a goon last night. I mean, I was doing this writing thing. A choose your own adventure second ending to Donkey serial. Which, I mean, that sort of thing sometimes. Revisiting old works and then getting into whatever zone that was when I wrote it and then emulating the style for like four hours straight. I mean, I bonked by the end of it. 7,800 words or like 26 pages. I mean, I looked at the clock thinking it would be like 10p, but no, it was only 8p. Which is whatever, but that is kind of the witching hour for me. I mean, I thought about writing this thing here, but because I had done something weird on Monday the thing didn't go out to electronic mails. So, I mean, there was no reason to send two out in a day. I have learned my lesson about that kind of inundation. It is no bon. Which means. I mean, it was 8p and I didn't know what to do with myself. So I thought "Take it easy, Joe. Have an early night. Watch some shows or something. You have done enough." So I went upstairs. Got into the sack. Went looking around for something to watch and boy am I tired today. I mean, the fucking modern world. They make these shows that are super stressful to watch and then they have this release at the end that lures you into the next episode. I mean, I was up until at least 4a watching that damn show. And the worse part is is that it really wasn't even that good. I mean, it was entertaining enough to watch for eight hours straight, but not so good that I decided to save some for later. I mean, I fell asleep for a little bit and then it was already light out. And then I tried to sleep some more. Then I got anxious about a few things I needed to do. So I got up like normal.

Rain all day. Rain all day tomorrow. I need to get Junior Mint to JD's in the morning to get the ol' Vermont tire switcheroo. I was going to drive down there in the morning and walk back to Beaver Haus, but the rain. Three miles of walking in the rain first thing in the morning kind of sounds pretty awful. So Scott is going to pick me up after he drops Grit off at the bus. In case anyone needs to serve me papers. That is where you can find me. Scott too, I guess.

I don't know if this is politics or not, but I finally put a number in my contacts. Speed dial as it were. Guess what number? ACLU. I mean, shit is looking kind of scary out there right now. It's a NYC number. 212-549-2500. You know? Just in case.

My Tickler Factory is moving right along. I mean, I realized that a five gallon bucket doesn't hold five gallons of Ticklers. It holds four gallons of Ticklers. Because of the way the yeast likes to hang out on top of the stuff it really wants to get out. So you need to have room up there. And I also realized that they sell sugar in four lb bags. I mean, I can just dump four lbs of sugar into the pot. Add enough water to basically make it a gallon when liquified. Which I boil for 20 minutes. When that is going I can clean and sanitize the bucket. Fill it with three gallons of cold water. Then when the sugar wash is done I can just pour it in directly without having to let it cool down because the three gallons of cold water will do that. Then I either add fresh yeast or reuse other yeast if the other Ticklers are done. I put the lid on. Fill the air lock with enough water for it to work and then let god do his work. I mean, the reused yeast works slower than the new yeast. And the bucket Ticklers take an extra two days compared to the gallon Ticklers. But the result is the same. And for whatever reason the reused yeast settles better than the new yeast, so that saves me some work. I mean, the only drawback from using the buckets is that I have to syphon the shit. Which is it's own thing. I mean, a big smelly mess. Butwhatever. I mean, I have exhausted all of my vessels now. So I guess I will need to wait to do more brewing. But I am collecting the used yeast and I will be ready to go when it is time. I mean, I won't lie, there is a possibility that I buy a few more buckets with gasketed lids just to age the shit. I mean, of all my frugal nonsense that usually costs more money than it saves, this is not one of those endeavors. I mean, in just the last week I have probably saved myself $500 dollars.

Speaking of $500 dollars. Abbie got back to me. The Farmers Market in Waitsfield wants to work with my schedule. But they want details. I mean, that was the whole point of me pulling out. I don't have details. All I know is that I can't do it all. I mean, I was glad to not hear from Abbie for like a week. Thinking she would write back and say "Hey Joe, I just had a baby, please refer all inquiries to info@wfm.com." Or something. But nope. I got the "This is okay, we can make it work, send me the dates you won't be around. There is a board meeting next Thursday. I will bring it up." I mean, I thought I had gotten out, but she pulled me back in! I mean, shit. I mean, I really do like the idea of doing the Market, I just don't know how I am going to make it work! And then when I think about it I think about Screed City Radio and everything goes berserk! And then it rains all day and I don't know what to do with myself and I find myself wishing I had a stationary bicycle. Or a Temporary Secretary.

[insert P. McArtney Temporary Secretary]

Isn't that an insane song? I heard it on the radio the other day. I thought the guy was fucking with me. It kind of makes up for his god-damned Christmas song and that other one he did. Which I won't mention. I mean, I have a no ear worms policy around here. They are just rude. And as someone that likes rude music, an ear worm is not really a fuck you, it is more of the opposite. Like, fuck me. And, I mean, Temporary Secretary is an ear worm of it's own, but it is so damn odd and so non-typical that it is more like an ear worm eating it's own tail kind of thing. A self-destructing ear worm. I mean, it is more proof that the Beatles were better as a whole. Like the Talking Heads. I mean, you need other assholes to take the edge off of the biggest assholes. I mean, I won't lie, Iggy Pop on his own is much better than the Stooges. I mean, plug your ears because I am about to say something unpopular, but the Stooges kind of suck. I mean, they were punk enough, but speaking of ear worms. And not only that but the production value of their music? I mean, I know it was on purpose, but here we are like 40 years later and I just can't wrap my mind around it. I mean, they had all of the resources. I mean, were they just some rock and roll scam? I mean, the Sex Pistols were. And they did it with aplomb, I mean, they actually were a huge fuck you to the record industry. But the Stooges? They took themselves seriously. And it was just a bunch of egos fighting it out that took them down. And of all the fucking people to end up on top of all of that? Iggy? I mean, listen to Zombie Birdhouse. As stupid as the guy is, he is also pretty fucking good.

[Insert Horse Song]

I mean, I get so disillusioned sometimes. I mean, there was a moment in the early 80's that was kind of the best moment of modern music. Where all ideas kind of collided. And it was kind of pure chaos. From punk to metal to rap to disco to country to no-wave. I mean, I am not like having some sort of nostalgia about it. I mean, I was born in '77. I didn't even listen to music until the '90's. And I am not saying that music died or something on June 3rd, 1989 or something. I mean, I just think there were so many great things happening in the 80's music-wise and I think it is funny that Iggy Pop came out on top, somehow. And, I mean, the amount of assholes from that era too. I mean, the lead singer from Faith No More. My god. If I can think of one asshole that deserves less kudos. That somehow personifies the fragile white male ego. But shit. I mean, he is still out there doing his bullshit. Because people for some reason have a loyalty to shitty things. I mean, there is a rumor that he did these funny phone calls, or Phony Phone Calls. But I don't believe it. I don't think he is smart enough.

[Insert Phony Phone Call]

I mean, can't we get back to the laughs? Or maybe we are? Maybe we have begun a new era. A second 80's? The fascists ’ are back. The corporate media lusts for war. The Right wants to kill all the F-words and then N-words. Moral panic is at a fever pitch. I mean, shit, I have the fucking ACLU on speed dial. The dominos are falling. And fast. I mean, I can't be nostalgic for the 80's. I remember there being a very good time for money at that time and then shit went sideways. I was too young to enjoy the anger and living in Wyoming all we got was Garth Brooks and Chris Ledoux. I mean, I can't even listen to that music anymore because it is just propaganda for what is going on now. Except, back then it was just venting frustration, now it is some sort of ideology. And it sucks. The music sucks. But the production value is great. I mean, that is what I mean about the Stooges. There was no reason at all that their music needs to sound as shitty as it does. None. Not one. Not one reason. It was on purpose. And I don't know why I find that so very annoying. I mean, they played thousands of shows. Had record companies behind them. I mean, Dinosaur Jr. They put that album out on SST that had the weird gating issues. But that was on purpose. So you wouldn't really know what was going on. I mean, it was controlled. But if you listen to the Stooges it is like supposed to be some sort of stolen recording from like a Grateful Dead concert? I mean, I guess that is the point? But, bullshit. The joke isn't funny at some point. Which is why it is actually kind of funny that Iggy Pop got to where he is by doing the exact opposite. I mean, I don't disagree with the idea, I just think that they didn't actually think it through. Which is what really tans my hide, as the bridesmaids say. I mean, there is a lot to say about punk bands doing shitty recordings. And the idea of doing it on purpose. But what bugs me is the fact that there does not exist a single version of the "True" Stooges sound out there. I mean, what I mean is, that what they sound like is the "True" Stooges sound. And, frankly, I just don't like it.

[Insert Stooges Be Your Dog]

[*NOTE: I changed my mind about this after listening to this. I listened to all the other crap I put in this newsletter, and I mean, I was wrong, and I am foolish and I’m sorry.]

I mean, I guess you can unplug your ears now if you didn't want to hear my feelings about the Stooges. And I will leave you with a Stooges song so you can judge for yourself. But, I mean, at some point there has to be a new History of Rock that doesn't include some of these jerks. Like the Rolling Stones. Or the Beatles. Or the Talking Heads. Or the Stooges. Or whatever. Like somehow we can cull the art in a way that makes it better for all of us to move forward. Where we can have a good laugh and a nice rock and not have to think about bullshit like Faith No More. Who! I should remind you, didn't actually change anything. They just complained a bunch about how everyone else wasn't as "Game-Changing" as they were, while playing stupid pop songs that sucked. But somehow got way further up the ladder than they ever deserved and still make tons of money to this day playing horrible music that sucks. I mean.

I mean, the biggest problem with modern Society is that we can watch stupid videos of crappy bands that play lousy music that for some reason millions of people love. I mean, consider Mark Curry. I mean, I like this song, but he is the epitome.

[Insert Sorry About the Weather]

I mean, I actually think it is great that I can do this. Talk shit about shitty bands for hours. This is freedom. Don't tread on me, man. It doesn't change how shit sucks though.