[162] Screed City

[162]

07/11/2022 Monday. Kitchen Carboard Box. Hampshire House. Portland, Maine.

Well, the apartment I am staying in is really nice, with one exception. There is absolutely nothing in it. Like zero. Literally zero. No shower curtain, no cups, mugs, plates, silverware, etc. No chairs, no sofas, no beds, no trash can, I mean, yikes. I mean, I as able to find a shower curtain and curtain rings at the Walgreens. A coffee maker that I can use to make hot water. I mean, I brought coffee and filters and the dripper thing. I bought some milk and some ice. An ice cube tray. I mean, Brother Luke loaned me a towel and a camping mat and some blankets and a pillow. I mean, one room even has carpet. The place has tons of electricity and central air, so that is nice. I mean, urban camping, am I right? Oh! And internet. And also, warm? Water. Supposedly there is a basement and the water heater is on "Vacation Mode." Whatever that means. I'm a little like Peewee Herman here.

Yesterday was a wild one. I had so many things to do before leaving. Cooking 10 GF Cubby Bubbys, cleaning the house, getting together the next Donkeys, making food for the week, packing, making more Ticklers for the future. I mean, it might not sound like a lot, but it was basically all of my schemes coming together all at once. Set up, break down, set up, break down, set up, break down. I did managed to get a hike in though, so that was nice. I mean, I was even able to write on some fiction. Which was also nice. I mean, I woke up at 5a, and really didn't want to get up, but I did. Then I looked down at the mess in front of the bed and said out loud: "Shit, I forgot to pack." But downstairs everything was nice and tidy. The dishes were done and stuff. I mean, I was on the road by 6:15a. Splitting fog all the way to Bethel Gap, no, Bethel Mountain Gap? Either way it is called the drive until the interstate was very pretty. Then it was just three hours of boredom and random radio.

I got to the Brewery at 9:40a. I parked and went looking for Brother Luke. I mean, I know everyone there, but I am not supposed to be walking around without my high viz vest. So I was kind of like Mr Bean. I mean, Mr Bean by day, Peewee Herman by night. I mean, Brother Luke found me very fast. Like somehow he could vibe that I was around. I mean, there was some tour happening and the Owner was standing there talking on the phone. And Brother Luke gave me a hug and said: "You can't just be walking around in here like that!" I mean, it was kind of funny. I mean, I said hello to everyone as I walked inside. Some of them even called me by my name, but still, it really was like I just wandered into a brewery out of curiosity and I was two seconds away from getting into some hijinks.

I apologized and we got caught up on things. I told him that Professor Curly was impressed that I was already in Portland when I called her. Then she ask: "What do you do when you get there? Drink and beer and eat a sausage, and then go about your day?" Brother Luke laughed the same way I laughed when she asked me that. I mean, a nice cold beer would have been delish after that three hours of interstate nonsense, but alas, no breakfast beer.

After we caught up BL took me around the campus making notes of jobs he wanted me to do. Then we went looking for my high viz vest that I finally remembered was hanging from his standing desk in the offices. So we went up there. Bob, the other grounds guy, was wearing a mask. Covid related. He went to a super spreader over the holiday and his family caught it, he didn't, but he still had to wear a mask for 10 days after exposure. I mean, sure, if he was testing positive, but at this point? I mean, the numbers have plateaued at about 315 a day for months now, even during "Peaks" I mean, yes, sure, test if you have been exposed, don't go into work if positive, but 10 days of mask wearing while testing negative? That is something other than good health policy. I mean, if the death numbers were in the thousands again, but they are not. I mean, until that changes this policy seems very outdated, to me, but then again, I live in Vermont and go days without seeing anybody, so maybe I am not the best guy to ask about health policy. I am surprised you asked.

Either way. I told him and Brother Luke that Rambona also caught the fucker at a different super spreader. She is doing alright. Cold-like symptoms. Get well soon, Rambona! I mean, after that we went out to look at some places to put some poles. And then BL gave me a list of wood to get at the fence store. I said: "But I can't drive the van. Company rules." He said: "Oh, you will be taking my truck." Then he gave me this very complicated list of things to do with his truck. I needed to drop some barrels off at Garry's house, then get the wood, then drive and get a table saw. I mean, okay. It seemed exciting. He typed the first address into my map thing on my phone. I grabbed my coffee mug and bottle of water and hit the skids. I mean, BL's truck is a, I don't even know now that I think about it, it is a diesel, I think a Chevy, basically a F250, but not, manual. Very low geared. I mean, I started driving not knowing where I was going, assuming it would be all back roads, but no, I ended up on the interstate. I mean, his steering is very wobbly. Like really wobbly, something to do with wide gears? He said he tried to get it fixed, but it just made shit worse. Either way, I shouldn't have been on the interstate. I mean, I also had to stop at two tolls and pay a dollar both times. But eventually I ended up at some retirement sub-burbs. Like really. Everyone was elderly. Gardening, looking at me with suspicious eyes. Wondering if they should call the cops. I pulled into the place I was going. BL had told me to put the barrels out of the way. Because they were going to be leaving for a few weeks and nobody would be around to move them for any reason. I mean, okay. I parked the truck. Got out. Tried to get the tailgate down. It would go down. I got into the bed and lifted one of the barrels over the edge and lowered it down with this rope that was hooked to it. The thing was very heavy. You know? Like they were giant oak kegs for brewing. The second barrel was much harder. I got it out though. Then this car pulled in behind me. A kid with a high viz vest on asked me: "You live here, or are you just working?" I said: "Well, neither. I am just dropping off these barrels." He said: "Is anyone home?" I said: "Got me." He said: "Well, I will just be a second. I am doing some gas stuff." I shrugged and started to move the barrels "Out of the way." At this point the garage door started to open. I looked over. I saw some elderly legs exposed, then an elderly mid-drift, then the face of an elderly woman very confused. At that point I knew I was in the wrong place. I walked over to talk to her. I mean, the conversation was kind of funny. She had no clue why I would be there, but she wasn't opposed to me dropping off the barrels for some reason. I tried to explain to her what I was doing, but she didn't seem to understand. And then I told her that the guy that rang her bell was a gas guy. Which confused her as well. Then I asked her if she knew a Garry or an Asia. Younger couple. She didn't. Then I finally just said: "Well, I know I am not dropping these off here." She said: "Yeah, okay." Then I said: "Suddenly a very exciting morning, eh?" She smiled and said: "You know, it is." The gas man left. I looked at the barrels. As hard as they were getting out of the truck they were going to be twice as hard getting back into the truck. I was able to pull the one with the rope on it up pretty easy, but the other one, there was no way in hell I had the strength to do it. I tried even. I didn't do my usual, give up first method, I tried first and failed. Then, by god, I was going to open the tailgate. Come hell or high water. I mean, I messed around for a while, then it finally came down and I sighed with relief. I got the second barrel in and backed out of the driveway. I called BL. He told me to look for a half-pipe and a cul-de-sac. I drove up the way, until the lane ended. Nothing. Then I drove back and didn't see what he said I should find. I took a right, thinking I had missed something, then out of the corner of my eye I saw the half-pipe. I had to drive down the street again to turn around. This time I was certain they elderly would call the cops. I mean, they might have. I was gone before then, though. I mean, I was met by Garry, he had me back into his yard. Helped me unload the things and ran back inside. He was getting ready to fly to Scotland. He was already late. I told him to tell everyone hi, he said he would, and I left.

The next leg of driving wasn't too bad. Back roads for about 20 minutes. Then I got to some place called Main Line Fencing. I went inside. Oh, I forgot, I had a case of beer for the fencing guys. The BL had put in the truck before I left the brewery. I carried that inside. The offices were very peaceful. Cool and quiet. A very pleasant woman greeted me, I told her I was from the Brewery and that I was picking up an order. This led to this guy coming to help me out. He pulled up the Brewery file. Asked me if the order was right. I said it was and that I would like to get some extra four by four posts and some slats. The "Slats" thing confused everyone. I mean, I knew what I needed, but this was a specialty kind of operation. Just fencing. So the confusion got sorted out in an odd way. I paid with the company card. The guy told me where to drive. I went outside and started to drive there. He came running out to meet me because I had taken the wrong receipt. I gave it to him then I parked in front of the warehouse building he told me to. Backing in. I got out and put the tailgate down. Of which, I was now very versed in. He had be back up further. I did this. Then he put a single post in. A smaller one. I mean, I was picking up 26, eight foot four by fours, 20, 12 foot five by fives, and 20, slats. I mean, he decided we were loading the thing wrong so he had me follow him to the back where the longer stuff was. I did this. Backed up. Got out. Helped him load the things. I mean, they were very long and heavy. But it was nice because we got to talking. I mean, I told him about working in a wood shop in Brooklyn and how there was a three floor walk up to carry wood in, and it sucked. And then we started talking about New York. He said he had spent a lot of time in Fort Hood. And I told him I knew about it. And he said he had been in the army for three years. Two years in Germany and one year in Afghanistan. Then I said: "Join the army, see the world." And he said: "Yeah, right?" I mean, he seemed like a nice kid. I dared not talk any politics. However, I had been listening to some dumb show on the radio that the Racist Right was trying to convince me that the Progressives were actually Puritans? That, I don't know, the Left used to be about getting freaky and stuff like that, but now we were somehow prudes? I mean, the argument was so idiotic at it's core that it was laughable. I mean, by implication was he trying to say that the Right was now the party of sex parties and drugs? It didn't matter, I only bring it up because I was trying to avoid politics, but this dumb show was blaring. I mean, the truck was a diesel, so maybe he didn't hear it, but still. I mean, after we loaded the five by fives into the truck, he had me drive around again to get the other stuff. I mean, we started loading the four by fours in, and he pointed to the "Slats." Saying: "Those are the other things." I mean, those were not what I wanted. I took a look around to find what it was that I was looking for. We talked for a while. I said I would call Brother Luke to double check, but the "Slats" that I had paid for were not right. And we could either deal with it now, or I could come back tomorrow after it got confirmed. He said he would make sure they could sell me the stuff. We finished loading the four by fours. He went inside. Came back. Said that it was all good. Then were finished loading. I went back inside with him, to update the paperwork. I had to give him the company card again. Strangely the new wood was more expensive than the old wood, even though it was basically raw wood, not whittled wood like the other stuff. Butwhatever. Who the hell am I to know how shit works. I mean, it is all cedar, right? I would think the heavy labor stuff would cost more than just your basic one-by. But I guess I am wrong. I mean, I went back to the truck. Strapped my load down. I mean, the entire bed was full at this point. I did a great job strapping the stuff down.

I mean, I learned the hard way, like what? 18 years ago? About strapping down a thing the wrong way. The twenty 21' schedule 40 pipes on the top of the work van in the Winter in Long Island City. I mean, if you want to know fear, strap some very long and heavy pipes down wrong in the Winter in Queens and then take a fast turn on a sharp corner into early morning traffic. THOSE PIPES WENT EVERYWHERE. I mean, people were driving over them. The van was in the middle of an intersection. People honking, rolling down their windows to scream at me. Nobody helping. I mean, I dragged the pipes to the side of the road. Got in the van. Somehow drove it to the shoulder. Then I spent the next 20 minutes ushering pipes across the crosswalk. Getting them back on top of the van. Some of them bent at weird angles. I mean, had it not sucked so bad, it would have been hilarious. I still don't understand why I was sent there alone on that fateful morning, but I was. I mean, I will say, I only had to learn that lesson once. And to this day I have not had a repeat of that incident. Knock on wood.

I mean, the next thing I had to do was drive to Brother Luke's house to get the table saw. That drive was easy. Long, twenty minutes long, but easy. No interstates. The load stayed secure. I mean, I got there, pulled into the driveway. Went into the garage. Grabbed the table saw. Wheeled it down to the back of the truck. I mean, it was heavy and awkward, but I got it up. I put it on top of the 12 foot five by fives that were resting on the tailgate. I strapped the thing down real good and backed out of the driveway. Then drove towards the Brewery. I mean, I knew that route pretty good. I mean, I got there and parked in front of the shop. Called Brother Luke. He came and met me. Then we had lunch. My little adventure had lasted two hours.

Lunch was good. BL brought pizza and some chips. Also, two oranges. I brought bean and beef burritos that I made yesterday. We ate outside. On a picnic table. There was a ice cream truck next to us for some reason. Then this guy came out and said he was excited for the ice cream. Then I asked: "Oh, they actually open?" They were closed the entire lunch-time. He said: "Yeah, free ice cream in the Summer on Mondays. Nice perk." That is a nice perk. The ice cream truck opened up and suddenly all the employees started showing up. Before long everyone was licking ice creams. It was pretty cute. I mean, I didn't get one, neither did Brother Luke. I mean, he didn't want to stand in line, or as he put it: "I don't got time to deal with that shit." I patted my stomach and said: "Yeah, I can't do it either." Oh, the horrors of aging. I mean, kind of. My desire for ice cream was never that high to begin with. But still, it was a very warm day, and sunny, an ice cream might have hit the spot. But I will never know. Instead I went back to work.

I mean, the next part of the day was removing removing flanges from rusty pipes. Then taking other rusty pipes and dealing with their threads. After that I spent about an hour cutting 8 foot, 4 by 4s into 4 foot, four by fours. Maybe longer. And then when the okay came down from the top I was able to drill holes and install the pipes I had been dealing with. The flanges. And now there is some vertical pipes by the picnic tables for Wednesday, when we will have to run some rope around the area and hang some tarps for some sort of shindig that is happening. I mean, after that was finished, I cleaned up. Got my shit together. Brother Luke came and met me. We drove to the rental apartment. To see what I needed to stay here. The whole time Junior Mint sounding like the wheels might fall off. I mean, we have to fix the brakes. I think tomorrow is the day. I mean, we drove back to his house. Got supplies. I left Junior Mint there, took his Prius. I mean, after I loaded all my shit into it. Then we said good bye. I drove alone to this place. Went to the Walgreen's. Bought whatever I could find, took it to the apartment. Went back out and grabbed the rest of my shit from my brother's car. And now I am tickling the ivories on top of a cardboard box next to the sink. I am about to go put the shower curtain up, maybe eat a burrito and then I guess go sleep on a mat in the carpeted room. Then in the morning I will pick Brother Luke up at around 7:45 and we will go back to work. I mean, what can you do? Am I right?