[169] Screed City

[169]

07/22/2022 Friday. Kitchen Microwave. Beaver Haus. Lower Granville, Vermont.

Chaos! Pure unadulterated, chaos. What the hell? I mean, today was supposed to be some easy go to work and work half a day, eat lunch with Brother Luke and then haul ass back to Vermont. Be home in time to clean for a couple hours, and then do some writing. Hit the sack, get up super for the Farmers Market and then go melt on some browns. I mean, the greens of the Farmers Market are now brown because no rain.

I mean, but no, god and his god damned wisdom. I mean, whatever. Last night I baby sat the kids so Brother Luke and L could have a nice rock and roll date. I mean, if you call it baby sitting. H had a very hard day and went to bed at dinner time, and Little L and me hung out for a while. Played some Yahtzee. Watched some Pokémon. Read a book about Rosie the Riveters' niece? Or grandchild, I can't remember. I mean, I don't know what I mean. Maybe I won't do a children's book book review right now. It's just, sometimes. I mean, the narrative of the Girl Boss is not as, um, how do you say, positive as it seems. In fact it is a little toxic, if you ask me. But either way, we were brushing teeth by 8p. Little L was in bed soon after. I was down in the kitchen watching the J6 hearings. Nursing a beer and getting ready to call it a night.

I mean, in the morning I got up at 6a. Had coffee with Brother Luke and H, well H didn't have coffee, but he was there. We played Dos, which is a take on Uno. Same game, but somehow more lame. Although, we did end up playing a game of Uno, and I will say, that game does has some good qualities. You can go from almost winning one second to being absolutely defiled the next. Destroyed? Is maybe a better word. Either way, the morning was nice. Eventually Little L and Big L came down. Things were fun. I took a shower and packed my stuff. Made the bed et cetera, et al. Then I played a half game of Yahtzee with H. And then we left. Me and Brother Luke. To go to work at the Brewery.

That was fine and all. I had some things doing that needed some attention. I mean, I made the last post. Which meant hollowing out a 4x4 and then router-ing some slat places. After that I had to figure out how the slats would meet at the corners. Which was kind of complicated. And it didn't help that I had to use 6 foot boards to experiment on. I mean, I will spare you the details, but it was frustrating. By noon I had figured it out. I cleaned up and got ready to go. And then chaos struck. I mean, instead of lunch just being me and Brother Luke eating lunch and then dealing with the brakes and grabbing this air conditioner for Beaver Haus, it turned into helping him and Asa move a refrigerator down some stairs. Eating lunch. Hauling ass over to the shop to work on the brakes, all the while Brother Luke had to move two trucks while dealing with some other things. And then the brakes became a fiasco. Which led to us machining some square tubing to prevent the calipers from over extending. Which led to a huge mess of brake fluid. And by extension, my brake fluid being low. Plus it was like one million degrees, and we were doing the work on the asphalt under the tent where I was doing all my woodwork. So we were both dusty as if you seek Amy. And all the time, Brother Luke running off to do something. Running back. Helping me out. I mean, this is where it is good to have outside help. I mean, my philosophy of give up first and the solution will present itself does not apply when dealing with brakes on your car. I am sorry, it just doesn't.

I mean, my solution to the problem was to disengage the caliper and cap the brake line. Meaning, the one brake that wasn't working any way, the one that was going to sieze and cause some series deadly damage, I mean, and then I would just put the active part of the caliper in the trunk and leave the hose dangling. Meaning, I would have two brand new front brakes. Which, are the brakes that do all the work anyway. A functioning back brake, and a obsolete other back brake. I was not worried about it. But I got over-ruled and instead we just took the thing off and hung it a thing behind the wheel. Which was also okay with me. I mean, just make sure it doesn't fall off. And doesn't get tangled in the wheel and send me to the great abyss. But we, meaning, me and by extension, Brother Luke, I mean, we forgot to consider that when the caliper gets engaged it has no limit switch. It will just push and push until it stops pushing. But when there is nothing stopping it from pushing, it kind of does a thing that things do, it starts to spill it's guts, like the bitter ex-boyfriend of a celebrity, or something. I mean, Brother Luke told me he would meet me at the Tiny House over by the Tasting Room. I mean, to get the air conditioner. I mean, I said, okay, and put the wheel back on. Put everything away. Got in the car. Pushed the brakes. Firm. Then I started the car. And at the same time I put the thing in reverse. NOT A GOOD IDEA. The pedal went to the metal, and not in a cool drag racing kind of way. More like, the car is automatic, so when it starts going, there is no stopping it going. I mean, slowly and steadily I was backing up. The brakes doing nothing. I mean, I don't know what I should have done. I mean, it was all so very slow motion. Looking in the mirrors. The parked cars about 10 feet away getting closer. I mean, I guess I should have gotten out and maybe pushed from the back? I mean, I suppose I could have tried the emergency brake, but don't those work on the same principle? It doesn't matter, because I didn't do that. I just kind of panicked, but not. I mean, it was more like, brace for impact kind of a thought process. I mean, there was nothing to do. I mean, what else? Cram the stick into drive or neutral. I mean, maybe neutral would have worked, but I was not going to destroy my gears or whatever, my transmission in order to avoid a little fender bender. I mean, it did occur to me to try that, but somehow I stopped myself. I mean, it was very dramatic though. No brakes. None. Like nothing. I mean, when the car came to a rest. After bonking into the car behind it. I put it in neutral. Got out. Pushed it back to where it had been. Called Brother Luke and said: "Um, you should probably come back." I mean, there was brake fluid everywhere.

I mean, the solution was to cut a chunk of square tubing and stick it in the space where the brake pads would be. That way it would be tricked into thinking the brakes were working and no fluid would come out. I mean, that is an inarticulate way of putting it, but that was basically the idea. I mean, at this point it is nearly two hours later than I wanted it to be. And my impatience was not a good thing to have at this moment, because, brakes. I mean, right? So I forced myself to be thoughtful and open. I mean, in the end the thing was hanging like it was before, except this time there was a governor to keep it from spilling it's oils. And just as a test, I drove the car around the parking lot a few times in order to make sure things were functioning. And then, that was that. I mean, next week we are going to replace both rear brakes. The calipers, the rotors and the brake pads. I mean, and then I will have brand new brakes. All around. And, I mean, I guess this time around, I won't ignore them when they start to get noisy. Although, I did say that last time. But still, I mean, it has only been one year and the back breaks are destroyed already? I don't get it. Butwhatever. I can't let my incredulousness get in the way of practical matters.

I mean, we got the air conditioner. I told Brother Luke the brake light was on. He said I had lost a lot of fluid. I should stop and fill it up. Then if it comes on again, I should check the thing. He also said I should do that anyway before driving back. I mean, we split ways. I stopped to get gas and some brake fluid. I filled the thing up. Decided to take the interstate instead of the scenic route. I mean, I guess that is it? The scenic route. I should just change my brake pads as often as I get my oil changed. That is all I can do. WHICH! If I do that, it will be about $500 dollars cheaper then being in denial. I mean, whatever. I mean, I said to Brother Luke:

"Man, I was hoping this car would last forever!"

And he said: "It will, if you don't drive it anywhere."

So true. I mean, he also told me to keep an out on the highway and don't tailgate anyone. I mean, I said I was going to do that anyway. I mean, I found the solution to making driving on the interstate less boring; Have janky brakes. I mean, the brake light didn't turn off until I got about 30 miles down the interstate. But then it stayed off the whole time. I mean, I could tell a little bit of difference in how the car was slowing down, but not really, I mean, it was more of a front heavy thing as opposed to a full body thing, but I wasn't really worried about it. I drove as safe as I could. Keeping good distance at all times. Erring on the side of staying in the right lane even when not really needed, I mean, I even went around Bethel Gap, which was kind of nice. VT 107 is kind of nice. Between Bethel and that weird crossroads with the stop light. I mean, there is even a back road there. Plus, I got to see the Rochester Farmers Market breaking down. I mean, I pulled into town right at 6p. I hid my face so Asia wouldn't see me, but I was reminded of simpler times. Back before the market was all about money and selling out. I mean, and then I got home.

I mean, whatever. Professor Curly is coming tomorrow! She is in New Ham as we speak. I mean, the plants were all underwatered. Drooping. A giant pot on the stove had an unbelievable mold growing on it. I mean, I guess I didn't deal with the mushroom juices before I left. I mean, the place had a smell. Which, I hope it now gone. Since I dealt with the mold juices. I mean, I don't know. I have to set an alarm for 9p. Hold on. Done. I need to take the Cubby Bubbys out to thaw. I mean, we will see. Supposed to be a scorcher tomorrow. I mean, I do have a dilemma. Do I do all 60? Or do I cut it down to 50? I mean, maybe I already did that? I think I already did that. Either way, I will thaw them all, let god sort it out. I mean, I have low hopes. About tomorrow. Butwhatever, such is the fickle nature of this endeavor. I mean, I put the air conditioner in, so at least we can sleep well. And I don't need to cook tomorrow. I mean, I have enough Bubby innards to do next weeks baking. And then I will be in Wyoming for three weeks, so there is nothing to do about that. And when I get back, I start all over again. I mean, also, maybe I will have some leftovers. I know that would make Scott happy. Plus I could bring some to Portland next week. Instead of burritos. Which, I mean, by Friday, the burritos are getting pretty slimy and boring. I mean, we will see.

I mean, see! I can be positive. Even if everything is chaos. I mean, the house feels cool. I got the air conditioner. I have some electronic mails to respond to, and I need to buy some labels and figure out the Donkeys [Italics] before I leave. I mean, I think this work in Portland is going to go for a few more weeks, so I have to figure that out. Plus, Scott needs my help on the New House and I need to deal with the insulation here at Beaver Haus before Winter. I mean, it never ends! Right? Just joking. Normal life is as busy as [s]uck [h]is [i]nk [t]hing!

Anyway, did I mention I was wearing shorts all day? Brother Luke wouldn't let me into his house being dusty as all get out. He left me standing at the bottom of the stairs last night while he found me some pants "That might fit." The son of a bee sting! I yelled up to him:

"I am not fat anymore! You prick!" And guess what? The shorts, I needed to put my belt in the loops because they were falling down. Suck on that, fat-shamer! I mean, I did scandalize his children the other day when I said:

"You know, your dad is so dumb, he swallows a flosser to pick his butt." Which, calling someone "Dumb" is basically a curse word these days. As well as it should be. But then again, saying he was "Silly" doesn't have the same gravity, right? And also, what I really said was:

"Your dad is so dumb, he swallows a tooth-pick to pick his butt." But using the word pick twice doesn't work. And, sadly, there is no other way to frame that insult. There is no other word for tooth-pick aside from flosser. Which, then it makes more sense to say:

"Your dad is so silly, he swallows a flosser to pick his butt." Which, almost gets your there, but not really. So then the joke needs to change. Like:

"Your dad is so dumb, when his butthole itches he swallows a toothpick." But then that doesn't make sense. I mean, what makes the joke funny is that he swallows something to do something he can do from inside he can do from the outside. And therefore, if you are explaining the joke, then the joke doesn't work.

"Your dad is so dumb, when his butthole itches he scratches his food before he eats it."

Whatever. The joke won't work.

"Your dad is so dumb, he once ate an ear of corn hoping to scratch his hemmorroids’."

[Insert Colony]

God and his wisdom took me by the hand/

God and his wisdom helped me understand/

In this colony