[176] Screed City

[176]

08/06/2022 Saturday. Milk Crate. Stabbin' Cabin. Worlando Beach, Wyoming.

The camping trip got rained out. I set my alarm for 7a. Got up. It was overcast and rainy. I drank some coffee and looked at things. Around 8a I sent a text to Sister Megan that said: "thoughts?" She replied: "Charley is going to call you directly." Charley did not call me directly. He did call much later. When I was talking to Professor Curly. Who, sadly, after at least 25 covid scares, has finally got the thing. I mean, pray for her, she is under the weather. But Charley did eventually call. And we decided the llamas needed to go on a hike irregardless. It wasn't raining in TenSleep, just overcast. I mean, I got ready to go. Took a shower and stuff. Around 9a I went and talked to G. They were just getting up. I asked if they wanted to go on a hike. It turns out they had therapy, so they couldn't come. I mean, by the time they were done I was still sticking around. The plan hadn't been finalized. So I cooked some bacon and scrambled eggs with cheese for G and PegLeg. Pegleg lent me a rain jacket and I hit the skids.

I mean, I was supposed to pick up Cousin Eddies GF at her grandma's house. She was not at her grandma's house. She was at her mom's house. On South Flat. Which, I mean, had I known that, I would have left about 30 minutes earlier. But it was too late to leave earlier at this point. So I drove out to South Flat. Which is on the West side of Worland. In the opposite direction of TenSleep. And her mom's house was halfway to Manderson. Which, I mean, I would have left earlier had I known this. I mean, I drove up her driveway on HoneySuckle Road. Which was worse than the driveway at the Compound. Mostly because it never rains in Worland. So I barely made it up the thing. Which, I mean, that damn rental 4-Runner. It makes me so damn nervous. I mean, I pulled into the parking area. There were three trucks and a car. The house had four different entrances. All of them blocked from the inside. I walked around the side and knocked on a window. Nobody came around. I saw a huge flag that had the Orange Douche yelling on it. Which made me nervous, so I went back the 4-Runner and texted Eddies GF: "I'm here?" She texted back: "Okay, I'll be right out." She didn't come right out. She took about 10 minutes to be right out. The whole time I expected some dude to come out and give me some grief. Nobody came out. I think I saw her mom, but her mom didn't seem to mind some middle aged stranger picking up her 16 year old daughter. I mean, whatever. I was glad to get out of there. But before I got back in the rental I looked at my boots and the floor boards or whatever. For some reason there was no plastic mat. I mean, I really think these fuckers are setting me up for failure. Like at some point some cigarette machine will start smoking in the car that I can't turn off. Then they will charge me like a $100 dollar cleaning fee for "Smoking" in the car. I mean, Eddies GF got in the thing. She seemed nice. Had braces. She was wearing shorts. Which seemed weird for the thing we were about to do, but who am I to do anything about that? I mean, I was wearing pants and a long sleeved shirt and a hoodie and I was still cold. I mean, she had a sweat shirt on at least.

The drive down the driveway was sketchy as hell. We got to South Flat. I took a left, thinking that taking the Reaner cutoff would be faster, and I could connect with Washakie 10 to bypass town. I mean, I was very wrong. Not about the driving, but the thing being faster. I probably added 10 minutes of driving. I mean, I tried to make conversation. Nothing was working. I asked: "How did you meet Eddie?" She said: "Through some friends." I asked: "Where are you from?" She said: "Shoshone." I said: "How did you end up in Worland?" She said: "My mom." I mean, I was losing my audience pretty damn quick. I quit asking questions of her. Instead I asked myself: "Where the hell is this road?" Just then the Reaner cutoff came up. I missed it. Had to flip a U. Then we were going alright. We passed some cattle lots. I said: "Don't you think it is weird that they make these cows just stand on their own shit all day? I mean, look at that! The just stand there, I mean, I guess they like it, right?" I looked over. She just smiled. When we got to the bridge I said: "You see that old bridge there? It's haunted. If you want to have a creepy time sometime you should come out here at night." I looked over. She just smiled. I turned the radio on. Bluegrass. We got to the highway. I took a right. We passed some more cows on turd mountains. I said: "See!" She just smiled. I mean, I literally stopped talking at that point. We turned on Washakie 10. Drove for a while. We drove past Johnny's farm. I honked. Then I said: "Johnny Busch lives there." I didn't even bother to look over to see if she smiled. What was the point? We got to the highway again. I turned left. And changed the radio station. There was pop music for a while. Then commercials. Then I changed the channel. Then there was some heavy metal. Then Living On a Prayer by Bon Jovi came on. I wanted to say: "You see, this song, the verses are good, but the chorus sucks. Isn't it bizarre that Jon Bon Jovi is a multi-millionaire for this crap?" But I kept it to myself. I mean, I finally found a station that had mostly modern songs and no commercials. And for the next 15 minutes things were just fine. She was texting with someone. Cousin Eddie, I presume. I mean, we got to TenSleep. Parked out front. And both of us let out a sigh of relief.

I mean, we went inside. Couldn't find anyone. I went out back and called Brother Charley. I heard his phone ring. He was in the shipping container. I went out there. We talked for a second. Then went inside. Found everyone else. Nobody was ready. Brother Charley and I went back outside to get the truck and trailer so we could go get the llamas. I mean, we drove out of town and got to the enclosure they were living in with a bunch of loud sheep. I mean, I looked at the sheep. They have eyes like the idiot goats. Who knew? The llamas do not. They have these big black orbs for eyes. Which is cool. I mean, Brother Charley rooted around in the trailer for a while and came out with a long rope with caution tape stuff tied to it at intervals of like two feet. We walked to the far edge of the enclosure and he unfurled the thing. We harangued the llamas to the entrance. The went, unwillingly, but they went. All the sheep ducked under the rope with flags. Then we closed the gate behind the llamas. That gate made a smaller enclosure to deal with the llamas. Brother Charley put leads on them. Then we walked them to the trailer. One by one. Got them inside. He fed them pellets in plastic ice cream tubs. I said: "That must have been weird to watch them eat all that ice cream first, eh?" Brother Charley didn't think my joke was real funny. I mean, I did. Llamas eating a bucket of ice cream? Pure gold!

I mean, they ate the pellets pretty fast. They must have been hungry. I mean, after this trip they were going to another place in Worland because they had eaten all the grass at this place. And some other animals were supposed to show up in a while. So they needed to let some grass grow. I guess. I mean, the sweeping hills in the background were something else. The clouds and the wetness and the dramatic landscape. It was Hollywood-style good looking. I mean, we drove back to the house to pick everyone up. Then we drove the back roads to Hyattville. Then we took a right and went up past Medicine Lodge and parked next to a couple trucks with horse trailers. We got out. Brother Charley unloaded the llamas. We all got ready. He put some sort of saddle things on the animals. Then loaded the saddle bags with stuff. Put those on the things. He and Sister Megan put on back packs. I had my coffee thermos and a water bottle and the rain coat from PegLeg. Cousin Eddie and Cousin Eddies GF and Little O carried nothing. Brother Charley tied all the llamas together. In a line. Then we started walking. Just then the horses came back. With people leading them. We had to move quick because apparently llama spook horses. I mean, we waited up above the road as they passed. One of the ladies leading one of the horses looked like some western gunslinger the way she walked. Bowlegged and sore. I mean, it was comedic, but I felt bad for her. She looked like she was in a considerable amount of pain. I mean, we walked onto the trail, through a chained gate. I chained the gate behind us because I was last in line.

We walked through a very large field of tall yellow grass with burned down trees. It looked like something Dr Seuss would draw. Before he got cancelled by the woke mob for being racist. I mean, it was kind of surreal. And before long we were walking in-between juniper trees. Climbing over rocks. And such. The trees were barely eight feet tall, but it created a labyrinth the way they were arraigned. It was kind of difficult staying together. There was no visible trail. Brother Charley was leading the way. The clouds were now very low. It was hard to see any real distance. Which added to the difficulty of staying together. But we did it. We kept walking. Up hills, down hills, up hills again. Eventually we got to the top of the hills and walked flat for some time. I mean, my guess is that we walked for about a mile and a half. Then we stopped for lunch. Lunch was good. Donkey dick with two kinds of cheese, two kinds of crackers. Rice Crispy treats. Granola bars. Apples, celery sticks, carrots. Some Gushers. I mean, it was very tasty. I had to stop myself from eating and eating all the Donkey dick and cheese. I mean, at one point I wasn't hungry anymore, yet I still wanted to keep eating. I stopped though. Then we got back on the trail. Or lack of trail. I mean, Brother Charley made a joke that now the easy part was done, we should get ready for some rough stuff. He was joking, like I said, but was he? I mean, at one point me and Sister Megan peeled off from the group on accident. We were briefly lost. I mean, not "Lost" lost, but disconnected from the group. When we caught up again Brother Charley said: "We should all try and stay together." No shit, Sherlock. Thanks for the sympathy. We could have almost died! I mean, we walked a little further and actually lost Cousin Eddie. I mean, for a brief moment there was actual panic. And then when we finally found him he said: "Well, I went to move my phone from this pocket to this other pocket, when I looked up, everyone was gone." When Brother Charley finally caught up he said: "Let me guess, a phone was involved?" And I came to Cousin Eddies defense, I said: "Yeah, but dude! It's like a labyrinth back here! And there aint no trail! Even me and Megan just got lost!" And Sister Megan said: "Well, we weren't exactly lost." And I said: "Sure, we would have been fine, but still! You don't know shit about where you are!" I mean, we kept walking. Then Brother Charley said: "Well, we go over this way for a bit and then we come to the canyon and then we come back out where those horses came from." Which was kind of true.

I mean, we did come to the canyon. And it was amazing. To go from low clouds where you couldn't see nothing to a sudden and dramatic canyon? I mean, we walked downhill like crazy. Everyone aside from Brother Charley wondering how the hell we are going to climb back up this thing. I mean, we followed him and the llamas down. They were hauling ass. We were not. But eventually we caught up with them at the river. Then it started raining. And it rained. And rained. Everyone was wearing a rain coat. I had to put my phone and my wallet and electric car keys in my cigarette pockets because my pants were getting soaked. We stopped briefly under a tree to wait it out. When it didn't stop we kept walking. There was a road we were walking on. Next to the river. We were walking downhill still. The kids were complaining at this point. Worrying about the walk back uphill. Brother Charley assured us it wasn't that bad. That we would come to a trail around the bend and the trail up wouldn't be too steep. I mean, we walked in the rain. The rain falling heavier. The sound of thunder in the distance. Yet still we walked. I mean, at this point everything was soaked and getting soakeder. I worried the rain would seep through PegLeg's rain jacket and short out my phone and key fob. I mean, I walked with my shoulders hunched to prevent my chest from getting wet. I mean, we did eventually get to the trail. Which, I mean, Sister Megan was walking next to me and I said: "Where the hell is this thing? Is this it?" She looked over. Then she said: "No, but it is right there." Had I waited two seconds I would have seen it. I mean, you know me, complain early, then relief will soon be in sight. I mean, I started walking up the trail. It was slippery as all get out. The mud collecting on the bottom of my boots. The thing was steep, but not as steep as the trail going down into the canyon. And the rain kept falling. And my shoulders were still slumped. I mean, it was nice to have something to focus on instead of the rain though. I mean, I got very hot and had no option to cool down. I drank some water and some coffee. I kept going. Assuming everyone was behind me. I stopped at one point to look around. To see if I wasn't alone. The little doggy, Obie, who loves to bark at me, came up and found me. Then she turned around and went back down the trail to meet everyone else. Which meant that they were not far behind.

I mean, we kept hiking. The rain kept falling. The trail was muddy and slippery. Yet we endured. I mean, what else was there to do. At one point I lost the trail and had to wait for everyone to catch up. They weren't far behind. I mean, the kids were complaining, but only slightly. Brother Charley said: "It's just there over the next ridge." Little O, sick of hearing this obvious lie said: "The next ridge, the next ridge, always the next ridge! I don't believe you." I mean, it was pretty funny. Yet she didn't just give up. Like most kids would. She was still game. Even if she knew she was being fed lies. I mean, we did eventually get to the next ridge and it was the last ridge. Then there was some more. But ridges weren't involved. I mean, we reached the racist Dr Seuss grass fields again. Which were strikingly yellow. And black. I mean, I don't know if I took a picture I will see. [Note to self: Find grass photo if there is one. Add at end.]

I mean, we finally got back to the truck and trailer. It was 5:30p at this point. We had been hiking for about five hours. Which, I mean, in normal walking times that would be about 15 miles. But we did not walk 15 miles. With lunch and people getting lost and llama drama, I mean, we probably walked at least nine miles. Maybe 10? I mean, Brother Charley unloaded the llamas. Then loaded them into the trailer. He fed them some more pellets. In the ice cream buckets that they had to eat an entire gallon of ice cream, each llama to even have. I mean, I don't know if llamas should be eating that much dairy, but who am I to know what llamas can or can't eat, right? I mean, maybe I can ask Tharpe the next time I see him. He would know. I mean, whatever. I took my phone out and saw I had two bars. I called G. I said: "What are you doing?" They said: "Cooking dinner." I said: "Okay, I should be home in like an hour or so." They said: "Okay." I mean, we got in the truck and started driving back to TenSleep. Taking the main roads. Because the back roads were too bumpy. There were a lot of deer in the fields. The rain had stopped. The truck was nice and toasty. We talked about Wyoming politics for most of the ride. The kids fell asleep. The adults tried to make plans for tomorrow. Maybe do some barbeque thing at PegLeg's. I mean, it sounded good then and it sounds good now, but I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I mean, we were supposed to be camping right now, so that changes tomorrows dynamics in a way. I mean, we made it back to the house. I said thanks and goodbye. Poor Little O was still asleep. Then she woke up and said: "Hi!" Which was cute. I mean, I got into the 4-Runner, muddy as hell. Started it up. G called. They said: "Hey, can you pick up some butter on the way?" I said: "Isn't there some butter next to the stove." They yelled something at somebody. Then they said: "Yeah, but can you get some when you get here? Some unsalted and salted regular?" I said: "Do you really need it? Because I need to go to the grocery store tomorrow and if I could avoid going now that would be nice." They said: "No, we need it." I said: "Well, okay, I am heading back now." They said: "Okay, smell ya." And hung up.

I mean, the drive back to Worland was nice. I listened to some things on the telephone. The scenery was amazing. The rain was letting up. I was covered in mud. My feet were wet and my pants were wet and my upper clothes were wet. But I did it. I stopped at Blair's. I mean, when I parked I got a text message that said:

"Hey man it's Justin. Was good to see you bro! I had a tough week, just been working & resting afterward." And that was that. No, Let's get together, or What you up to? or How long you in town for. Just this statement. That he had been working and resting and good to see you bro. No comma even. I mean, I wrote back: "indeed! rest up. I'll be in town a couple weeks, let's try and meet up!" And that was that. Crickets. I mean, that dude is a weirdo. I will give him that.

I went inside. Covered in mud. My pants soaking. I went straight to the butter section. Looked around for a while. The price disparity was crazy. Super expensive. Like between $6-12 dollars for butter. Which is one of those things where I think places like this use the politics at hand to just raise prices and blame it on the Democrats, even though it is just Capitalism at it's finest. I mean, nobody is going to push back on that statement. Biden's America, am I right? As they lube up their dick and shove it up your ass. Because, I mean, what are you going to do? I mean, I bought two wads of good looking butter that was $2.99 a piece. That wasn't the awful corporate butter that sucks. I mean, I guess. I mean, I got back into the 4-Runner and went back to PegLeg's. When I got there I left my dirty boots on the steps. Stripped naked when I got inside. Left my pants at the door. Went into my room and put some shorts on. Carried my dirty pants to the kitchen, trying not to make a mess. PegLeg was there, sitting at the table, listening to a sermon, I asked: "Where is G?" She said: "She and A went into town to get lottery tickets." I said: "What! Are you serious! Those jerks! What about the butter?" PegLeg said: "They were bored as the Dicken's." I said: "I don't care, I understand that, but G knew I didn't want to get that butter, if they were heading to town anyway, they should have gotten the butter." Then she said, incredulous: "You didn't have to get the butter, that was up to you." And I said: "Bullshit! That is no way to run a Society! If I just choose to not do something someone asks me because I don't feel like, society would break down!" I mean, then PegLeg helped me get my muddy pants into the washer. She went back to her sermon. G and Cousin A showed up. I said: "Did you get butter?" G said: "I thought you were getting butter?" I said: "I know! That is my point! Why did you have me get butter when you were going into town?" And they said: "I didn't know when you would be back, you said you were like an hour away?" I said: "That doesn't matter! I have to go to the store tomorrow, I didn't want to get the butter if you didn't need it!" I mean, at this point I lost my audience. Nobody cared that I didn't want to get the butter. I said: "I mean, I love going to the grocery store, but still, I have to go there tomorrow." They ignored me and started cutting tomatoes and frying bread with butter. Cousin A or G or PegLeg said: "He is just hangry." And then PegLeg said: "I thought you said you had a good time?" And I said: "I had a great time! I am not hangry!" Cousin A said: "He is hangry." I mean, I was not hangry. I was just annoyed that I had to get some butter when I didn't need to get any butter. I mean, a few minutes later some bruschetta was ready. I ate a couple slices. It was good. I mean, at this point I had gone back to my room and was now wearing three pairs of socks. I mean, I was not hangry, although I might have been pretty cold. Still! I didn't need to get that butter and they knew it, they just couldn't admit it. I mean, tomorrow when I go grocery shopping I am going to buy 10 lbs of butter out of spite. And the cheap shit. That will show them! It's the principle of the matter. Butter. Erggh.

I mean, my body is pretty sore now. It is still raining. Poor Professor Curly still has covid. I mean, I guess I can help PegLeg do some garage stuff tomorrow. She is pretty cute when she gets ready to work on the garage. She puts on a little apron with pockets and dishwashing gloves. And then disappears into the abyss. I mean, it is crazy how much stuff one acquires in this life when they have space to acquire it. I mean, even if they don't have space. I have loads of junk in the basement of Beaver Haus that I will never need again, yet somehow I have it. I mean, for about a good decade between being 17 and 27 I lived by a credo that you shouldn't own more than could fit in a duffel bag. Oh how the mighty have fallen. I mean, I feel like your entire life is just resisting gathering more and more junk. Which is why when you get a larger place you just fill it up with crap. I mean, and don't you dare start new projects. For every new project you need about 10 cubic feet of space. I mean, I have at least three active projects going. That is 30 cubic feet of new space I need. I mean, I am converting the basement into a brew house for Christ's sake! I mean, how many gallons of sweet, sweet Tickler juice does one dude need? 20 gallons I guess. I mean, I wonder how the Farmers Market went today? I should reach out to the Putin of Gluten. I wonder what his electronic mails are like? If they are verbose as he is? We'll see. That may be a can of worms to open up ATBMS.

I mean, it is already the 6th. I still haven't seen Sister Amy or Moldy Holdy or Lisa or Shane or Kevy Wevy. Jacob and Nick are in Billings. I need to reach out to them. I mean, I think I did some good fixing the front door today. The handle works at a maximum opening now. The door itself probably needs to be sanded down and we need a bottom sweeper thing to keep the daylight out, but we are getting somewhere. I mean.

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