[18] Roach Town

[18]

The walk back up the hill was brutal. Horribly brutal. Zone regretted every step he took. He wasn't sure he would make it. The afternoon sun beating down on him. His heart pounding. The Orange Sunshine making it worse. He was sweating like a wringed rag. His eyes burned. Sweat stinging his corneas. He was thirsty. Tired. He had to stop multiple times to get his breath. He thought he might be having a stroke at different times. His socks were soggy. His feet kept sliding around in his boots. He could feel the blisters he was making. His hair was drenched. It kept falling into his face. He would slick it back, but it wouldn't stay there. The cars coming down the hill were a nuisance. They would either honk at him or yell things at him, like: "Get a car, you moron!" His ass hurt, both from the walking and his hairy butt cheeks rubbing together. He was beyond miserable. He really did think he might die. Yet he continued. Pushing through the pain like a marathoner. And whether it was because of the walking or the dehydration or the heat or the Orange Sunshine or a combination of the four things, his mind went into a certain clarity. A transcendence of sorts. A runner's high the marathoners would call it. Whatever it was, Zone was experiencing it. It came slowly and painfully. It started at the bottom of the hill, when he was still excited about this new information he had garnered from Siobhan, it was a little muddy at first. The couple of beers and the shot of whiskey was not doing him any favors, but by the middle of the hill, he had sweated those out. Then when his body was certain the pain was going nowhere, it let out a little special juice to keep him going. When this didn't help, when no water came in, only went out, when the sun just kept snapping down like a relentless whip that god himself had lit on fire, his body let more of this special juice into his blood stream. And all the while his brain telling him: "One more step, just one more step, just one more step, just one more step. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. One more step, c'mon, just one more step." Zone kept going. He was the little engine that could. He thought he could and he thought he could and finally he did. But before he did, his brain went from seeing the road in front of him, the burning asphalt and relentless hill, his brain went from seeing things to seeing only white. At this point he was a machine. And as a machine, he was free to use all of his brain power for thinking, because his body didn't need it anymore. All the blood and salt and liquid and spastic energy had been transferred to the rest of his body. The brain was no longer important. The thing that made Zone, Zone, his soul or whatever, it was no longer needed. He was disembodied. Floating about his machine-like body. Watching it walk up that fucking hill. One step at a time. And Zone, being the detective that he was, he didn't use this metaphysical victory for self discovery or even to understand greater things as they pertained to the universe, he thought instead about Rochester, Vermont, and the poor dead body in the greenhouse and all the sordid characters he had met in the last twenty four hours.

He started laying it out in clear terms. He even made a list of characters to keep straight in his mind. There was:

Bonny Sergeant: The proprietor of Park House. A very odd and very lonely woman in her 30's who had a weird haircut and was so horny that she boned Gagger within hours of meeting him. She was not the brightest person, yet she had something about her that would be considered intelligent. Deep down she was a good person. Even if she had slippery moral values when it came to exposing others with unsolicited involvement in her personal actions, i.e., boning Gagger. Zone understood that Bonny understood that the relationship between Gagger and Zone allowed such indiscretion, so maybe he was judging her too harshly on that personal matter, still, he never asked to watch them hump, and he shouldn't have been forced to watch them. Even if there was implied consent.

Officer Lindsay Sergeant: An officer of the State Police. That, much like Bonny Sergeant, had a penchant for wanting to bone Gagger. She was in her late 20's. She enjoyed anal sex. That was about all Zone could think of.

Captain Sergeant: The captain of the State Police. Or a captain of the State Police. Zone wasn't sure how far up the latter his official role went. Or how big the State Police force was. Or whether his jurisdiction as a captain only included they county they were in, although he did seem to be based out of Burlington, which made it seem like he had more power than just a local captain. Either way, he was a fascist prick of a man with a small penis and a desire to make everyone know that about him. He was extremely angry and seemed to be covering something up. What that was, Zone wasn't sure yet. But it was something.

Gary Alone: A guy with a greenhouse and a guy that did farmers markets. Possibly gay. Whether or not that mattered, Zone was not sure. It didn't matter to him, but he wasn't sure about the local politics or what that would mean in this community, it was just something that Zone thought might be important.

Union Dan: A guy with a car and a close friend of Gary Alone. Who may or may not be Gary Alone's partner. A person that did the farmers market as well. Zone thought that Gary Alone and Union Dan were boobs that probably had nothing to do with the scheme, but they did say something that suggested to Zone that they had more information than they were letting on. Either way, Zone was not convinced that they were suspects.

The Grandmas of Park House: Just a bunch of cranky old grandmas. Living their last days in some retirement home in Rochester, Vermont. Who couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper sack. Judging by the karate massage they gave Zone during their insurrection when he was snoring. They were not suspects, but they were angry enough to kill someone.

Misty Sergeant: A murder victim. Who had a bloody nose at the time of her murder. She also had a tattoo of a roach with barbed wire roses wrapped around it. Who was the daughter of Dell Sergeant, who Zone knew nothing about. She was not a suspect because she was the murder victim.

Constance Sergeant: A reporter for the Rochester Harold. A weekly advertisement paper. She seemed to have gone to a decent college. She had clean hair and smelled nice. Zone wanted to bone her. She seemed very smart, but also very beaten down by Vermont society. She also seemed like she had a crush on Zone. She also seemed repulsed by Gagger, which meant she was very smart, indeed.

Laserbeam Sunrise Sergeant: A hippy hearse driver that was really cool in the beginning but then turned out to be an asshole. A cat lover. A bad artist that did the farmers market as well. he was in his 40's. Balding with a ponytail. He knew things but tried to hide them from Zone and Gagger. He also had some amazing weed. Zone didn't much care for Laserbeam Sunrise. Even if he wasn't a suspect, Zone decided he was one out of spite.

Siobhan: Bartender/Waitress at the Huntington. Or whatever it was called. The one bar in town. That also sold food. She was from England? Ireland? Huge tits. She also had a tattoo of a cockroach with barbed wired roses wrapped around it. She said she was part of a gang of, who knows what, in Rochester called the Roach Town Ticklers. Zone was not sure what kind of stuff they were up to, but she inferred there were more of them. She was a liar. Zone knew it and this information was very important.

Zone thought about his list. Was he missing anyone? Did his list include the murderer? Or was it just a big cover-up and they all knew who the murderer was? Siobhan had inferred this. The fact that she knew Misty was dead but pretended not to. Which allowed him to get a motor-boating of a lifetime. If all lies came in that package, Zone thought, my job would be a wonderland. Not that he was attracted to Siobhan. She was a nightmare, but her tits were glorious, and Zone could appreciate some glorious jugs. But was that true? That there were only two options? That he knew the murderer or it was a cover-up? Was there a possible third option? And what was the motive for the murder in the first place? Was that relevant? He knew nothing about Misty. What she was up to. Why she ended up dead in a greenhouse, with her bleach blonde hair and bloody nose, even her outfit was odd for these parts. She wasn't frumpy and bedraggled like the rest of them, aside from Constance and Siobhan. He wondered if Constance had a Roach Town Ticklers tattoo. She seemed young enough to do something stupid like that. Zone thought about that though. How old was Siobhan? Misty? Misty seemed like she was in her 20's. Siobhan could be anywhere between early 30's and early 40's. But she was not from around here. Constance on the other hand, that tattoo would have had to go onto her body at the earliest during high school, and maybe during a break from college, but she would never get one after she graduated, right? She didn't seem to have the personality. This was why Zone was nearly dying while walking back to the van. He was looking for this kind of information. And Constance was the key, well not the reporter herself, but Misty's mom, Dell. She could tell Zone all he needed to know, if only he could find her. And he needed wheels to find her. This town was spread out like a wagon boi's ass. Lots of real estate, and no map. The only definitive place was the butthole of the town itself. And that was basically the town square. Zone was aware of this. And right now, because he was walking a mile and a half up heart attack hill, he was acutely aware of the fact that you couldn't live here without a car. That thing he saw, where he thought Misty's mom ran her pottery barn, for all Zone knew, it was twenty miles away. But he needed to talk to Misty's mom. He was positive that Constance wouldn't give him what he needed. And for good reason, even if they were ironic, considering her entire job was to milk information out of witnesses, and how offended she was that Zone was zip-lipped, but still, the fact that since the shit now involved her, and her family she would keep it shut up, that kind of irony always gave Zone good feelings. Because this was democracy at work. And sure, it is annoying when you don't get what you want, but taking that right away, man, that aint no way to live. But Dell, Misty's mom, she would talk to Zone. She would want the murder solved. Even if nobody else did. Which was why Zone was putting himself through hell to talk to her. And, as a man of principle, he was starting to get quite angry with the people in this town. The fact that they would cover this shit up. Didn't Laserbeam Sunrise mention something to this effect? Didn't he say something like:

"It's a small town, I don't get many calls for bodies, I mean, the last one was a murder years ago." It was something like that. Was there more murders around here that were connected to this thing? This was something he thought he could ask Misty's mom. She would be older. She would remember. Zone was convinced she was a linchpin.

The hill finally ended. Not that Zone's pain was finished. His white mind went back to seeing things. He was back in his body. His brain was. He started walking on the dirt road. He got about ten feet into the flat land and vomited. The puke splashing dust and chunks of butterscotch candy onto his shoestring less boot-tops. He thought about when the last time it was that he had eaten anything. Last night? With the grandmas? He couldn't remember if he ate breakfast. He straighten up and kept walking. He needed water pretty bad. He stank. His hair was wet. His feet were full of blisters. His shirt was stuck to his back. His ass was sore. His legs were sore. He wanted to lay down and go the way of Buddha. I'll just sit here until god comes around. And if he doesn't, I'll just die. But he didn't do that, he kept walking. He got back to the van. Which was strangely sitting on the road now. Someone had pulled the van out of the ditch. There was a note under the windshield wiper. Zone opened it. It read:

"You didn't leave the keys so I had to drag the thing out. Let me know if that causes issues with the tires. [Phone Number] Keep on, keepin' on." This kind of blew Zone's mind. That someone would do this, un-asked, and leave a number. He put the note in his pocket. He would call that number. He would thank whoever it was. He took the keys out of his pocket. Finally glad that they weren't clogging things up anymore. He looked around for water. There was none. He even got back out and checked the back. His lips were chapped and his eyes hurt. He got into the driver's seat and started the thing. A few seconds later he was driving down the same hill that had nearly killed him. He rode the breaks the entire time. He got to the bar. Honked a few times. Waited. Honked again. Zone was about to get out when Gagger came running around the corner. He was red-faced and smiling. He got into the van. He said:

"Go! Go! Go!" Zone looked over and went. They got about a block and hit a stop sign. Gagger was looking behind them. Zone looked in the sideview mirror. He could see Siobhan standing there. Her fists raised in the air. Zone looked over at Gagger. He said:

"What did you do?" Gagger didn't say anything. Zone drove a little further. There was another stop sign. He looked in the sideview mirror again. Siobhan was walking back inside. Zone pulled into the gas station. He parked. Gagger said: "Dude! What are you doing?!" Zone said:

"Relax, she went back inside." Gagger looked back. Keeping an eye out. Zone went into the gas station. He found a gallon of water and a four pack of ciders. He paid for them and immediately opened the jug of water and started chugging. The lady behind the counter just stared at him. He drank half of it. She said:

"You're gonna give yourself a tummy ache." Zone winked at her. He got outside and immediately puked all the water out. His calves started cramping and he had to sit down. Gagger got out of the van and ran over. Zone was shaking. Gagger said:

"Dude! What the hell?!" Zone put his hand up. Meaning, give me a second. He looked sick. He poured water over his head. This washed some of the stink off. Then he took a small drink. When he didn't throw up again, he took a bigger drink. When this didn't make him puke, he took an ever bigger drink. Now he was feeling better. He held out his hand. Gagger helped him up. Zone did a couple of stretches. To get his legs to work again. He bent down and grabbed the ciders. He handed them to Gagger. They walked back to the van. Zone got in and finished the gallon. He held his hand out. Gagger peeled a cider loose. Handed it to Zone. Zone cracked it open. Drank half of it in one gulp. Then he slowly drank the rest. He bent the can with his talons and threw it into the back of the van. He looked over at Gagger. He said:

"Smoke." Gagger pulled cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one. He handed it to Zone. He lit one for himself. They sat there smoking. After a while Zone didn't feel broken anymore. He started the van and put it into drive. Gagger looked over. Siobhan was at the post office now. She hadn't gone back inside, or if she had, she came out to look again and decided to come get them. Zone was on the road before Gagger could tell him this information. He drove past the grocery store and took a left. He dropped down into a weird part of town. That ended next to a transfer station for electricity, a park, and a tennis court. Zone got out of the van. Walked over to a tree and took a leak. He got back in the van. Then Gagger did the same. When he came back he said:

"Man! What the hell did you do to Siobhan? I think you broke her." Zone didn't know what to say. He said:

"She's a lying motherfucker is all." Gagger laughed at this. He said:

"Well, she sold me more Orange Sunshine if you are interested." Zone was. Gagger gave him some. They cracked open a cider. They stared at the river from the parking lot. Zone asked:

"Why the hell was she chasing you?"

Gagger said: "She wasn't chasing me, dog, she wanted to talk to you! What the hell did you do? She made me promise I would bring you inside. When I heard the honking, I bailed. I knew something was up. You know? But you say she lies?"

"Oh, she is a liar as long as the day is long. Or whatever. I mean..." Gagger didn't like when Zone did this. He would keep little details out of the conversation to preserve anyone's reputation. It was annoying for Gagger because he had to work for it, but always, and every single time, Zone would tell him the details, even if it was beside himself. Gagger didn't understand why Zone needed to keep up the appearances. But he did. Which, for as much grief as he caused Zone, Gagger that is, he was slowing figuring out how to navigate these things. Meaning, reluctantly, but on purpose, Gagger allowed Zone to slowly spell it out. So instead of yelling: "Get to the point, man!" Gagger just listened. Because he knew it would be worth it. And Zone took all the time in the world. He sighed, and then he sighed again. Then he said:

"Dude, okay, look. Remember when she took me outside to smoke and you had to shit or something? Like earlier? Like you didn't want to hang out with us, but you had some dumb reason, like you probably wanted to hit on the waitress or something?"

Gagger said: "I did, and we banged."

Zone didn't believe him: "No. You didn't."

Gagger said: "We did. And it was great."

Zone said: "What the fuck?! Are all women insane?"

Gagger said: "They are not insane, they just love a good fuck, man. It's pretty simple." Zone didn't believe it. But then his story kind of went down the same line, so he ignored Gagger's bragging.

Zone said: "Well, she showed me her titties, and I was about to motor-boat, but I noticed she had a tattoo like the murdered girl, and then she was like, Misty is dead, boo-hoo-hoo, and then I found myself canyon deep in her honkers and for some reason I started rubbing her clit and then I pulled her pants down and played with her butthole, then she came and was embarrassed about it. And that is when I went back to get the van. You really didn't bone the waitress, did you?"

Gagger said: "Scouts honor." He held up two fingers. Gagger was a menace to society. How he didn't walk around with STIs all day every day was a mystery. Or maybe he did. Who knows? He never told Zone about the fallout from his indiscretions. Just the juicy happenings. Zone assumed that the ladies were mostly embarrassed about it, so they didn't speak out, but still, Gagger was charming, sure, he had a big one, sure, but didn't anyone pick up on how skeevy the guy was? He was drunk half the time, and he showered like maybe once in two weeks. This baffled Zone. But so what? The mystery of females was Zone's Achille's heel. He spent all of his time with regard to personal relationships baffled. On one hand he was being told his cum tasted like pears, and on the other hand he was being lied to while playing with some weirdos butthole. He was no better than Gagger. But Gagger just boning his way across the USA, it really did baffle Zone. Because Zone thought of himself as better than that. Like he was a stand-up guy. But he wasn't. He was just as gross as Gagger. There was no future with Constance. Even if she wanted to bang. Zone would ditch town the second Captain Nylon sent a guy to come and pick him and Gagger up. There was no way in hell she would come back to the City with him. Even if they fell in love. But so what? It's not like he wouldn't try. He wanted nothing more than to spend an evening in her clean sheets, playing with her clean hair, licking her clean pussy. Who was Zone to judge Gagger? But still! Boning the waitress in the bathroom during the few moments that Zone was outside finger banging, Siobhan? That was just too much. Either way. The two detectives sat there drinking the ciders. Looking at the river and the tennis court and the park. The transfer station. Zone was in a hurry, still, but he needed to take care of his body first. Which is why they finished their ciders.