[216] Screed City

[216]

12/21/2022 Wednesday. Kitchen Microwave. Beaver Haus. Lower Granville, Vermont.

Well, it's that time again. I mean, today, I think, in my humble opinion, is the last day of the year. Not in number, naturally, but today tonight, or sometime between today and tomorrow, the earth tilts back towards the sun and the days get longer and longer until they peak near the end of June and then it is all downhill again until this exact same day again. I know, I know, it's controversial opinion, but you know me, I am an independent, a radical, a maverick. So, Happy New Year everybody!!!!

And because I am an auther, I should harold all the good books I read. So here we go, my top book list:

1. The Pit & the Trap by Leyb Rochman

Haha! I only read one book this year. And it was a book I had already read before. And I only read it again because I am turning it into a play. I mean, I wrote four novels and two novellas, but I can't say that without sounding like a goon, but in my defense, I also had to work a day job to pay my bills and I had that Cubby Bubby business that I ran for six months, and I have my Ticklers empire I am starting, and all the mice I killed, 81 total since October of 2020, and the two rats, and the insulation nonsense I shouldn't have had to deal with, and living in Vermont is a full-time job as it is, and my t-shirt business, and all the hot sauces I made, and talking Professor Curly down from the ledge on a daily basis, not to mention all the screeding I did, I mean, there just isn't enough hours in the day to read anymore. Also, in my defense, I have moved into phase two of my writing development, which means that I am actively avoiding being directly influenced by outside things, I mean, on purpose or not, you absorb the things you read, good or bad, the same with music. I mean, I remember a thousand times when rehearsing with any number of bands I have been in over the years, when the neighboring band at the rehearsal studio suddenly had song that sounded exactly like one you had, or vice versa, ATBMS, I mean, it is only natural, and like Sensei from the Karate Kid once said; Best way to avoid punch is not be there. I mean, I am probably creating an echo chamber in my own writing, but that is okay, I mean, I would rather be accused of writing the same book twice than of stealing somebody else's idea. And, I mean, really, there are infinite ways writing things, but ideas are quite limited.

Speaking of which, Dishwasher [Italics] finally showed up! Fucking Vermont. I mean, who knows, who knows what would have happened had we gone ahead with the book launch on the 15th, six days ago, I mean, maybe the books would have made it to the City in time, but c'mon! The books were supposed to arrive on the 9th, what is that? 12 days ago? Uncool, man. I mean, I guess there is a reason that things move so slowly in the books world. I mean, traditionally. I mean, at first this idea of insurgent publishing worked quite well, the print on demand model where you could get a thing to the press and you would have a book in hand in like 12 days, that was fantastic, but now, I mean, the amount we sacrifice to have a capitalism, and then we don't get the benefit from that capitalism, I mean, the more things change, right? I mean, I got a notice from a friend of mine who is releasing their first novel, and she sent out an electronic mail about it, about how there is a party and come to this thing and here is where you pre-buy, and I was about to buy the book, and maybe figure out how to come to the party in the City, but it isn't until March! I mean, I understand that it is Christmas and she was hoping to boost sales, but even still, something tells me she would have done that even if the book came out in July. And, yeah, I guess I should just buy the book and be pleasantly surprised when it shows up in four months, but I will get another mail before then, so I am not worried I will forget, but I don't know. I mean, books are not precious, they just aren't, I wish they were, but they're not, however, that first one, if you could bottle that feeling, before you eat the apple or whatever, open the box, both figuratively and literally, I mean, you would make a million dollars. Speaking of which:

[Insert DISHWASHER Unboxing Video]

I mean, the books look great, sadly there is a cover mis-understanding that needs to be corrected, so we had to stop the presses, I mean, it's an easy fix, but all the pre-sales and the review copies and gift copies are going to be "Unique," collectors items, I suppose, I mean, don't do whatever with the good in attempt to have the perfect or whatever it is the bridesmaids say, I mean, there are a lot of ins and outs these days, and since we decided as a Society to give up the one to one relationship with the people who are making our "Product," I mean, I don't know, maybe it is once again time to rethink things. I won't lie, I had a fantastic experience with the new shirt lady, a Mrs. Roach Clip over at INKSWELL Screen Printers, in Colorado, to the degree that I got the same shirts for the same price, well, not true, I got the same shirt-shirts, the printing on the shirts is superior to the internet shirts, but the price was the same and I was in direct contact with the printer. I mean, really, can't recommend high enough. In case anyone needs shirts printed:

[Insert INKSWELL Link]

https://inkswellprinting.com/

I mean, I won't meditate on this much longer, but it isn't like anything simple as customer service, because that is the bare minimum, it is this idea that all things are impossible anymore unless they are on an industrial scale. And that is just not true. It's the opposite now. The technology and the ability to do things large on a small scale are more easier now than ever. And it's not like these DISHWASHER shirts are artisanal or something, they are just better, made by hand, with thought and care. How that overlaps with the global idea of things like shirt construction and ink and whatever, that is a different conversation, I am not suggesting that the shirts need to be all organic and the corporations that make the ink need to employ indigenous people or something, I mean, we have drifted so far away from that sort of mentality about almost everything we purchase these days that the only actual thing we can do about anything is to remove the last few steps before final production, but it is a start, and the more we use local products, local businesses, even if it is the same thing as the weird website that you feel like maybe you shouldn't give them your credit card number, I mean, the more we support the local businesses, the more we support people who are not Scrooge McDuck squeezing pennies out of a golden coin, and, I mean, this idea that I would not meditate on this much longer has come and gone, but consider the reality that all major corporations are obligated by law, BY LAW, to fuck you over. If they don't do everything in their power to maximize profit, they get in trouble. Think about that.

Speaking of small business owners, as my phase two writing projects begin to unfold, I have had a great big breakthrough with the Ticklers. Phase Two Ticklers. I mean, all this time, all this fucking time, all the care and worry I have put into things, the idea that I start one place and end another place, worrying about temperatures and yeasts and sugars and time, I mean, I did it! I put bubbles in beer! I mean, Scott is convinced I am creating bombs, or at least Old Faithfuls, I mean, judging by the GIF he sent me today after I showed him this photo:

[Insert Ticklers]

But I don't think so. The psi limit, from all the youtube videos I watched, where person after person experimented with this. I mean, have I not mentioned this before? I feel like I had a whole thing about it, but maybe it was all in my mind. I mean, like I said, I have been purposefully creating an echo chamber in my mind, for the sake of art, but didn't I bring this up? That 2 liter bottles, the ones that like Cokes and diet Cokes and diet Mountain Lion and diet Dr Perky come in, can hold nearly 190 lbs psi? I mean, at the same time, in the spirit of the echo chamber, I have started writing a thing called Tickler [Italics,] which naturally takes place in a world run by the far right, where booze is illegal again because of course, and Tickler, the main character, figures out a way to sell booze without it being booze, when he sells it, but then it becomes booze over time and et cetera, it's an allegory for being stuck in the working class, naturally. Haha! Not really, that was my last thousand books, this one is an allegory for how the Right is not honest in any way and even if you think you have your freedems, your guns and your god, they will come for everything else you have, and you won't know what happened until it is too late. I mean, it's a very uplifting story about a man that becomes friends with a lost lamb that wondered out from a pasture, and how making booze for insane rednecks is the answer to all of Americas problems. I mean, like I said, there is no shortage of writers on earth, only a limited amount of ideas. I mean, maybe I put this video up last time or the time before, or maybe I just thought about it? I mean, I don't have time to check the archives, but this is my proof that what I am doing is good and pure and god loves me and I will be successful:

[Insert Video Of 2 Liter Test]

My point is this; Champagne can exist in glass bottles with cork corks. Champagne has 80-90 psi. Soda pop has like 25 psi. Most beers are like 40 psi. And from what I understand, from my very scientific youtube research and this one website that uses equations, that for some reason all the other websites quote without justification, I mean, big wow that a bunch of drunks don't do their own math and chemistry to figure this shit out, I mean, I am no better, chemistry is exhausting, it's just details, which, as a detail oriented writer, I would think that I would be a big fan, but I am not, I mean, I love the idea of how you get to absolute zero, how energy exchanges are beautiful and almost mystic, but that doesn't mean I am good at the shit, and I will take this dude's word for it, but c'mon! I would think the internet community would do better research. Haha! Just joking. Add a patina of science and math to something that a bunch of drunken nerds proves something, I mean, my point is that it is probably true, and it probably means nothing, because the guy hedges on the amount of CO2 the yeast and sugars will create. Like by a lot. Like he decides there is a 85% conversion rate. Which, I mean, I am not a scientist, but if I was, if I was to do hypothetical equations about conversions, I mean, I would do the maximums and then scale it backwards. I mean, I would simplify first and then explain why it wouldn't actually be that way. Not the other way around, where I factor in discrepancies that muddy my findings. I mean, it's bad science is all. I mean, whatever happened to the Scientific Method? It's the only thing we have! I mean, suddenly these drunken nerds have something to point to? It stinks of conspiracy theory. To me.

Either way. I did a usual thing with the sugar/water/yeast. I boiled a lb of sugar for 20 minutes in a gallon of water. I poured three [3] gallons of water into a five [5] gallon bucket. I added five [5] teaspoons of champagne yeast. Stirred it. Then, when the sugar had boiled for 20 minutes, I added that to the water, I stirred it again. Then I put the five [5] gallon bucket on the counter. I put a chair underneath the bucket. Put eight [8] 2 liter bottles on the chair. Took my hose, a nice long hose, a clear hose, an 3/4 inch hose, a thing that I had cut on one end at an angle, you know, to suck the edge of the bucket, which, I mean, comes in handy when you are dealing with yeast at the bottom of the bucket, but not now! Because all the yeast are still floating around in the brew. I mean, I did a suck and pour into the 2 liter bottles, I had an extra bottle just in case I ran over, a place to catch the dregs, I mean, I filled them all up, all the 2 liter bottles. Then I put their caps on. And that was yesterday. And here they are today:

[Insert Ticklers En Fragrante Picture]

It’s the same photo from before, I mean, to make a point, I guess. I mean, part of me is worried that they may explode, but so far, there is no indication of that. I mean, I did a great job about putting the lids on, and from what I gleaned from the computer, the internet, what happens first before the things explode, the 2 liter bottles expand and elongate, and maybe over time that will happen, we will see, but for now, I mean, you'll see! And it will work. And as much as DISHWASHER [Italics] has a nice shirt to have around to promote it, when Tickler [Italics] comes out, I'll have a nice brew for people to drink. And I will be a marketing genius, because what kind of book tells a story about government overreach and how as much as you think your gun rights are going to save you from it, and then, what? you can't just sell people un-regulated booze, even if it is sent to you as sugar water with yeast, that one day will become booze, I mean, it's not me selling you booze, it is the Postal Service taking forever to get the shit to you; Hey, man, all I did was send out a bottle of yeast and sugar and water, it's not my fault the mail takes forever. I mean, remember when Brother Charley and Sister Megan sent me that cured meat that was moldy by the time it got to Brooklyn? It wasn't their fault there was a storm and the stuff took forever to get there. How is this different? I mean, it is a booze loophole, a BOOZPOLE. I mean, maybe I can just slap a thing on the side of the bottle, address and all, return address, see what happens. Flaccid at first, then, when it gets there; Watch Out! Kaboom! And then the book shows up the same day, the last few pages are paper towels, that you can rip off, so you can dry the mess up? See! Limited ideas, infinite ways of saying it.

Anyway. What have I learned from this year? What is the takeaway? I don't know. I have a job. Kind of. The Brewery is going to give me one week of work every month. Which will fund my ability to write one million novels before I die. And they will all be about a people being trapped in the working class with no way out, but also, a few ones that are about emotions. I mean, Vermont: A Beautiful place to live, but a pain in the ass. I mean, Professor Curly has a film at the Berlin Film Festival in February. That is something I will go to. Then she goes back to Berlin the next week for a three month stint, which I have plans to join her for. I mean, my schedule versus her schedule, I mean, if I have to work to follow her around the world, I mean, I am okay with that, I mean, G is in high school, I don't know how to get more involved, but we have some projects together that hopefully when they come over next week we can work on, and, I mean, I should make plans for Wyoming in the Summer soon, I mean, late January there will be the DISHWASHER [Italics] launch party at Tom's studio, I mean, I don't know about anything, I thought I did, but I don't. I mean, things are funny, and times are good, I think I will just ride it out for a while, I mean, last year, meaning this year, I wrote two things that I really like. Dangler [Italics] and Percolator [Italics] which, combined with Donkey [Italics] is going to become a Casper Trilogy, I mean, I am still working on Hilarious [Italics] too, and I would love to get Roach Town [Italics] out as well as Sugar Beets [Italics] but lets not go crazy, right? I mean:

[Insert Born To Be Wild]

What a dumb song. But, remember when toxic male energy used to be the norm? Like a true, nature's child, I was born, born to be wild, I could climb so high, never, going to die. Take the world in a love embrace. Get your motor running. Et cetera, et al. I am wild. Thrust! Thrust! Thrust! Where is the adventure anymore? Travels With Charley, by John Steinbeck, I mean, it is a good book, but c’mon! A dude ditches his wife to go across America with his dog to prove he is manly? I mean…