[313] Screed City
[313]
02/01/2025 Saturday. Microwave. Room 407. Hilton Garden Inn. Brandon, Florida.
I try to get out and they just pull me back in. Since I am a renaissance man it doesn't really matter though. 39 days on, 11 days off. I mean, considering 40 days is two months of Mondays to Fridays, so if you figure two days off per week, 4x2x2=16, its not that bad. I am not working another 40 straight though, that was too much. I flew down to Orlando on Thursday, and I had just finally adjusted to life again. Not that anyone cares, this kind of accounting is irrelevant except that a toll is being taken. For some reason I was starving ever since I got back to Brooklyn. Mustard, mostly, is what I was hungering for. Mustard? What the hell does mustard have in it that would make me crave it? I would ask the computer, but asking the internet anything health related is like asking a hypochondriac what they think is wrong with you. Its cancer, the answer is always cancer. Although, that time I had scabies, back when the internet was nascent, before all the sickos won, learning that I didn't have herpes or something deadly, like late stage syphilis was akin to a negative pregnancy test from......I won't finish that sentence. Asking for a friend.
Just kidding. Oddly I never got anyone even close to pregnant without meaning to. Mostly because I.......okay, see, this is the problem with letting teenagers onto your screed list, you can't even joke anymore. Those woke commie bastards try and DEI your ass and suddenly everyone is throwing pronouns around like they're government issued. Miss this, Mr that, Mrs so and so, if you aint straight, White and Christian, I don't want to hear it, you perverts!
See what I did there? The irony of all of it, for me, personally, is that whenever any government document asks me to identify myself I always want to write that it is none of your fucking business and it makes not fucking difference anyway, but now that the Fascists are in charge, well, if I start growing out my man boobs again like I was developing during the pandemic, I might be in some trouble. You think the TSA is going to start doing "Honk" tests on us?
"It says here you are a chick, you don't look like a chick to me, let me give it a honk and find out." And then, "Alert! Alert! We got a Tune In Tokyo emergency! This skank's got some weak ass titties! Hold her down and make sure she aint smuggling raisons in her training bra!"
I mean, am I right? Also, since we are on the subject, when the First Buddy was doing his Nazi salute the other day at the Inauguration I thought it was odd that people were calling it a Nazi salute, I mean, I went onto the computer and found the actual footage, not the footage the woke commie bastards want to DEI and CRT us with, but the true and honest footage and what he said was this:
"For all of you who I love let me tell you this; I have guile, lots of guile, lots and lot of guile, I am a very rich man and therefore I have guile because I am both ruthless and shrewd. See? I have guile? See? Guile! See how I have guile? See! Guile! See? Guile? SEE!! GUILE!!! SEE!! GUILE!!!"
Anyway. Me and Scott are down in Florida giving 111% again for America and we are doing a great job. When we finally get these cruise ship theaters up and running at pure efficiency again I am sure we will be rewarded with all the extra money these billion dollar boats save from us making it so nobody needs to work in the theaters anymore. The trickle down will be amazing. That is, as long as they can finally get rid of the 98% DEI hires who actually run things. The entire crew today only spoke English as a second language. Can you fucking believe it? And we were in Cape Canaveral! That’s where NASA shoots rockets up to space! Sometimes. Unless they do it in Texas, of course, with a South African in charge using our taxpayer money. It doesn't count though if straight, White, billionaires do it, naturally.
[insert Vietnamese food photo]
See? Guile.