[73] Screed City

[73]

12/31/2021 Friday. Garbage Room. Beaver Haus. Lower Granville, Vermont.

New Year's Eve. Happy New Years. I suppose. I mean, I don't mean to be a downer or nothing, I just find this supposed holiday a bummer. Not because it is somehow a bummer to "Start Anew." Or whatever. It is just so very arbitrary. And, I mean, if you fall into the trap it just makes you feel like shit because it is the SSDD as Jay G'Baur says. But if you don't fall into the trap it is equally depressing because you feel obligated to "Celebrate." And I mean, if anything, I am celebrating that this is the largest distance between New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve. I mean, I don't know why, but it just rings so hollow to me. Like a birthday after 35 or something. I mean, it's not so much that there is nothing to celebrate, I mean, sure, there are tons of good things to look forward to. But, I mean, I don't even know. It feels State sanctioned or something. I mean, instead of this being a time of dignified self-reflection, it just feels more like another crappy thing that I have to do or I am being negative. And I am not being negative, I just have a lot on my mind. And because I have a lot on my mind, I don't feel like painting the town red or whatever it is the bridesmaids say. I mean, I don't know. I just feel like we should do this maybe sometime later in the year. Like March or something. That or we connect it to the New Hanukkah I am creating. Where maybe we celebrate the New Year on December 21st. Then we have a week of celebration. And then that it that. We move on. I mean, the Seinfeld joke about a Festivus for the Rest of Us. But, I mean, I just want to hide until it is all over. And then, because we all in fact just forget about this shit until next December, we just forget it ever happened until next year. I mean, this is the kind of holiday you just turn your phone off and don't look at it again until two days later. Then you text everyone back, and you move on.

I mean, I celebrated today by submitting a cartoon to the New Yorker. It was this:

[insert photo]

I mean, I showed it to Professor Curly and she had no idea what I was talking about. But, I mean, it is politics. But I do find it very frustrating that the Right is just Anti-Left and that is all. No policy except that they want a Dictator to tell them what they think. And any government is bad unless it is total government. Meaning a Strong Man for a leader. And that is really what is on my mind. Not that we are entering a new year. That somehow 2022 will be better than 2021 or 2020. I mean, we are in a plague at the moment. Me and PC tested negative yesterday. She was certain she had it. AGAIN. For the 10th time. And funny enough, the second she tested negative, she was chipper and symptom-free. I mean, she spent the entire morning and half of the afternoon in bed. Stricken down. I mean, I was in the process of making her a soup. I mean, that soup is now in the freezer. For the next time she gets it. And, I mean, I am going to go to Chatham tomorrow to see G and Mimi and Nino and we are going to have a little Christmas brunch. I mean, I was supposed to go there tonight, but I just couldn't do it. There is just too much Covid in the air. I mean, I am going to test again in the morning, just to be sure, but, I mean, I just couldn't bring myself to get on the road today. My instincts told me not to. And, I mean, I think that was my new year's resolution last year, to trust my instincts more, and I think I have followed through with that threat. I mean, not just not travelling today, but in other ways as well. Like with work and stuff. Book things. Writings. I mean, sure it has been a hard year. But every year is a hard year. The only easy day was yesterday. And by that logic, the only easy year was last year, and, I mean, who knows what that means?

I got put back in the Garbage room for two reasons. One, it is warm today. Like it has been raining all day. Most of the snow is melted away. And two, Professor Curly has a computer meeting with her theater company. For the new year. And it seemed really rude for me to sequester her into the bedroom. I mean, I suppose I could have gone down into the basement. But then I would have had to put the ear muffs on. And really, it is not that cold in here. I can't pretend it is warm, but it is not cold. Plus, I got all this trash to look at! I mean, I would spend some time with it tomorrow, but I am getting on the road at 8a. And, I mean, I probably won't be back until like 8p tomorrow. So, I mean, I can do it on Sunday I guess. But it is supposed to get really very cold on Sunday, so, I mean, Monday? But then I have to take the car to get inspected and I think we have a PCR test to take in Bennington. I mean, I don't know if we will go to that appointment. I mean, if I test negative again tomorrow and neither of us have any symptoms. I mean, any real symptoms. I mean, I guess I could thaw the soup out on Sunday just in case.

It turns out that getting a rapid test was actually very easy. Professor Curly got an appointment yesterday afternoon. When we got there a woman asked if we had an appointment. She said she did, but I did not. The woman gave me a two thing test and sent me away. PC had to go inside. She came back out with a test that needed batteries to use. Which was kind of cool. I mean, we used it and then took the batteries out and threw the test away. I mean, my instinct is to save that test for posterity, but maybe my instincts are wrong with that. I mean, it is kind of a keepsake, but is it though? I mean, I still have an idea that I will frame my mask I used for the first year and a half of Covid with the tag, "Break Glass In Case Of Outbreak." Or something. But that is just art. The test however, I mean, that just seems like a relic of panic. I mean, I am holding onto our protest signs:

Defund The Police and Bunker Boi.

I mean, those seem like good things to hold onto. For the archives. But the test. Maybe I am wrong. But maybe not. I mean, maybe if we were positive? Like a pregnancy test or something? But being negative just makes it seem like something to be forgotten, right? What do I know. I mean, I don't even know what trash she put the test in. It could be a gross affair finding it again. I mean, used tampons, dirty Q-tips, booger wipes. I mean. not to be gross, but I think what is done is done.

So far there is no word from headquarters about racist work in Albany. I mean, if this job gets postponed until later in the year it wouldn't hurt my feelings. Although, I do need money again. I mean, I have some. There is that work in Portland with Brother Luke. And, I mean, and, I guess I need to focus on some other things right now. But who knows, I mean, Under the Radar got cancelled. Which is a new theater festival that happens in NYC every year. It is Covid-Cancelled. I mean, who knows what the City will look like in exactly three weeks. I mean, the reading might have been cancelled already just nobody has said anything. They are just waiting. But if that gets cancelled then the reading at Tom's will get cancelled and, I mean, maybe it will be the perfect time to go to Portland. I mean, Brother Luke's birthday is around then. That would be nice to celebrate with him. And then, I mean I could go down to Philly for a few weeks or something. Hang out with Professor Curly. Steph and Dan. Maybe hit Christian up. Work-wise. I mean, my instincts for that are more of a wait and see kind of thing. For some reason the work I do for him always somehow backfires. I mean, by backfire I mean that I don't usually do my best work. Not because I am incapable of it, but because something always and I mean ALWAYS comes up. In a way, I think it is cursed work. I mean, I would rather just hang out with the guy, have some drinks and some good times, but he always likes to lure me into working for him. And then when the job gets going something happens. And then I have to bale halfway through. And we both feel bad about it. I mean, I feel ashamed and he feels upset. I mean, when you hire someone to do a job you kind of expect the job to get done, right? But, also. I mean, and also, sometimes as a freelancer, things just don't work out and that is a good lesson to learn for anyone that is self-employed, sometimes things just don't work out. I guess the real lesson to be learned is to actually understand what isn't working out versus what can't work out. I mean, I still don't know the answer to that. And my philosophy has always been "Give up first, the solution will present itself." Meaning, it is always easier to find a reason NOT to do something than it is to find a reason TO do something. But nobody is paying me to think.

Nino, who is a doctor was telling me about talking to some nurses in a hospital and how they were telling him about all the times that they had to go into rooms to resuscitate un-vaxxed people that were dying of Covid and on their televisions they all had Fox News blaring in the background. I mean, what the fuck? He also sent me an article that laid out the possible ways the virus could go with regard to society. How the virus could possibly mutate. That we are basically going to live with this virus like a cold or whatever, endemic. OR! The thing could keep mutating into some unknown thing that we have to deal with in a way like we deal with the flu. But possibly worse. And because we fucked up, because half the population is a bunch of idiots and decided not to get vaccinated and because the rich countries, like the US and England didn't share the vaccine with poorer countries there is no way to reach that Herd Immunity that we all desperately need in order to get past this thing. And therefore it is still basically a crap-shoot about what is going to happen. I mean, the ball is in the Viruses court as the Professors say. Which means! We still don't know shit about how this is going to all play out. And, I mean, I am a man of science, I don't think this is just negativity speaking. This is not good news. I mean, it could be great news. Like the Corporate Media keeps pushing for. That maybe it is a good thing to let Omicron just rip as the Right Wing like to say. But, I mean, it might just rip through society and then come back around again. Even if we could achieve the herd immunity. Because on one hand it seems like the virus needs to lessen it's potency in order for it to be more transmittable, but on the other hand, while it is doing that it is also spending time avoiding detection, meaning, for now it may be a weaker virus in the sense of killing people and it may be spreading like wildfire, but that is no indication that it is going to burn itself out because if we don't get the entire world inoculated then it will just hang around somewhere else until it finds a new way to attack the vaxxed. And because of the nature of the virus, by that time it could possibly be way more potent and more transmissible. I mean, that is what I garnered from the article. And I know I said I am a man of science, but what I mean by that, is that I believe in science, and the science is still unknown. And what there is to take away from this is that we all need to get vaxxed ASAP, even the idiots. Because the further away we get from the original virus the more likely it is to change into something we don't know how to deal with. And the possibility that we can't deal with it like we did with the original vaccine.

[insert link]

file:///C:/Users/joetr/Downloads/Beyond%20Omicron%20what%E2%80%99s%20next%20for%20COVID%E2%80%99s%20viral%20evolution.pdf

I mean, I guess what I am saying is this. I am not a scientist. Read the article yourself. Nino is a very well renowned doctor. I trust his input. And as much as I relish the idea of a 1,000 less American Republicans in the voting stream, that is a political thing. It doesn't mean that when all the idiots die we won't have this virus floating around anymore. In fact, the opposite. Because they are dying that means that what we are doing, those of us that care about society and human beings, will be mostly useless because the virus doesn't give two shits about who you vote for. And it will mostly be the poorer countries that we just don't seem to care about that will suffer the most, but they will also harbor the virus in a very dangerous way that will come back around and cause us even more death and sickness. I mean, we live in a global system now. To ignore that is tragic. To me. What I mean is, we live in a global economy, a global eco-system, and it is very abstract to care about people that are thousands of miles away, especially when you have zero ties to them, but, I mean, even for yourself, if you don't really care, and I am not saying you don't, but if you don't, it doesn't matter, because what is happening to them is going to happen to you. Maybe not next week, but next month? Next year? I mean, I know I sound like a hypocrite when I say I don't mind losing 1,000 MAGA Douches every day, but I don't live around these guys. Not in Vermont. I mean, there are plenty of them. They make up half the population. Not the Vermont population. But still. I mean, I guess what I mean is, still push. Still push against the people that refuse to get vaxxed. Don't engage in their "Research." Or argue with them. Just tell them to get vaxxed. Then walk away.

I mean, stay engaged. The Right somehow managed to make this Pandemic a political issue. And, I mean, "The Right," and, "This Pandemic," and, "Political Issue." What a loaded sentence, but still. I just, like raccoons holding onto something shiny in a hole. I mean, it feels like we can't let go, but if we can't let go we will surely die. Let go of the shiny object and focus on the bigger picture. Do we want to be a dead raccoon holding onto a diamond, or do we want to go chase a duck or something.

I mean, that is my message for 2022:

Go chase a duck or something.