[90] Screed City

[90]

02/02/2022. Wednesday. Ironing Board. Room 412. Holiday Inn. Hamburg, New York.

2/2/22. Tuna, Tuna, Tuna, Tuna. Two and a two and a two and a two and a. That is a lot of twos. Too many twos. Two too many twos to tune a tuna.

I was going to write on Postal Teen tonight, but I just got home, and boy are my arms tired. I mean, not really. I mean, kind of. I mean, my arms are tired, but not too tired to write on Postal Teen. I just don't have the emotions to write on it. And since it is only 630p, I refuse to just give up. I refuse! Damn you! I mean, it is just too depressing to eat a little food in this hotel room and pass out before 8p. I mean, I am tired enough to do it, but I will regret it. I mean, those were Scott's words to the Publisher when she was holding the main line the other day. I know this sounds like a sexy set up, but it is not. I am going somewhere totally different. See, the Publisher was holding the end of the main line. Scott was going to walk up the hill and hop on the tractor. I was going to go to the splice and watch it wind through the woods. Scott was just giving a warning. I mean, I don't know what would have happened if the Publisher unspooled the rest of the pipe. Hose. I mean, maybe it would have coiled back up the hill? Or maybe it would have sprung out like a pocket watch losing the backing? Either way, I mean, whatever way, I am sure there is a third option here, but either way, that warning was pretty ominous. "Don't let that unwind or you will regret it." He used a different word than unwind. Not unspool. I think he might have said "Page out." Irregardless, he gave her his warning. And, I mean, that sort of warning was kind of endearing, actually, but also, vague warnings like that are kind of effective. I mean, I was thinking about Professor Curly and her driving. When she sees one of those speed signs they have in towns these days. Things that tell you your vehicle speed. Like with flashing lights and stuff. PC never slows down just because of them. She will slow down, I am not saying she is a reckless driver, I am just saying that psychology doesn't work on her. Telling her that she is speeding and letting her know how fast she is going. However, if the thing has a flashing sign that says "Slow down! Slow down!" She will slow down. I mean, that is what I mean about vague warnings. I mean, if the sign read instead "Slow down or you will regret it!" I mean, I think we could solve people speeding in towns. Right?

We did a 11 hour shift today. Which was fine. Making up for time lost on Monday. I mean, when we started this job I was certain we would be done by today. But the longer it goes on, I mean, there are 40 line sets. Plus some work in the house. Plus we have a full truck of shit that needs to get to the metal yard. And we have to pick up some Unistrut from Buffalo. And it is supposed to really start snowing soon. I mean, we will be very lucky if we get the bare minimum of shit done before we leave on Friday. I mean, I am not really worried about it, but we did do a full-on amount of work today. Demo on 20 line sets. Saving the drapes at the same time. For cleaning. A demo on the lock rail and the floor blocks. We took down all 160 loft blocks. There is a huge pile of wire rope, hemp rope, loft blocks, arbors, stage weights, drapes, traveler tracks, schedule 40 inch and a half pipe, mostly 20 footers, some cut-off, proof coil, debris. I mean, it is kind of insane how much shit was hanging in the air. I mean, I am gray from dust. I look like I am wearing black-face. I am sure if we were in Albany someone would have made a very racist joke about it. But since it is just me and Jayboo and Conrad, nobody said anything. I mean, Jayboo said "Man! Your face is so dirty!" But he didn't make a racist joke.

Speaking of Conrad. That guy. Two days into his vacation bender. I mean, he was a total space-cadet today. His eyes were bright red. Almost no focus. He did a Squirts and locked himself out of the building when me and Jayboo were up on the scaffold at the very end of the day. I mean, so what? I mean, it was annoying, but at least he can work. But he really was in rare form. Or maybe it wasn't rare. It was old Weiss-style form. I mean, he really did need to sleep it off, because he was almost useless. Jayboo didn't understand what was happening. I had to spell it out for him. Which, I mean, Jayboo is a recovering alcoholic, so I would think he would have picked up on it. But I think he is the kind of person that gives everyone the benefit of doubt. Me? Not so much. I know exactly what Conrad is up to. I wouldn't be surprised if he brought a bag of drugs with him on this trip. I mean, no skin of my nards. As the bridesmaids say. I made sure to watch him. So he didn't do something stupid and dangerous. But there were a few times that he needed to be stopped. I mean, yesterday he was pulling on a rope that was in direct opposition to the rope that Jayboo was pulling on. And then when Jayboo said "Are you pulling on that rope?" Conrad said "Huh-uh! No I'm not!" But he was pulling on the rope. I was watching. And the thing that Jayboo was holding really wanted to run off into the air. I mean, Conrad pulling on the rope was not a very good idea. I mean, we will see. My theory is that he will be fine tomorrow. I think he pushed it too far last night. I mean, the first night he smoked 12 cigarettes. Last night? A full pack? Plus the lines of cocaine and the ten high test beers that he probably drank. I mean, I am just speculating, but I haven't seen anyone that hungover in a very long time. I mean, he took two shit breaks today. And, if you had a chance to look in the honey buckets on this job site. I mean, that is an emergency. Twice!

I mean, whatever. My guess is that he will be fine tomorrow. I think he doesn't have it in him to go for round three. Plus it was raining when we finished today. So he probably forgot to hit the store for more booze. But the kid is kind of young. 33. So, who knows? There is a gas station just down the road. But, I mean, also. The guy seems like the kind of person that if he sits down for too long he will fall asleep. I mean, he probably is already passed out as I write this. You know? He put on an episode of Family Guy or something and won't wake up until 11p when he has to piss. Then he will just go back to bed. Saving the big blow-out for tomorrow night. I mean, maybe I am projecting, but this is kind of how things go sometimes around these parts, these jobs. It is a whole shit-load of nothing to do and nowhere to do it. I mean, he has that new baby. He won't get another chance for quite some time. And if the stories he tells are true, his baby's mother keeps a pretty close eye on his behavior.

I mean, I guess the idea tomorrow is to finish any demo on the stage that we can get to with just scaffold. Load the Box Truck with metal. Take it to Buffalo. Sell it to the scrap yard. Then go and pick up some Unistrut. Bring that back. Then, I don't know what. More clean-up? I don't think we can do layout just yet. We need to get to the head steel. Which we can't do with the scaffold we have. There is a HVAC in the way. I mean, tomorrow is going to suck, mostly because it will be mostly moving heavy shit from one place to another all day and then driving around in a snow storm, but I don't think it will be another long day like today. I can't see a reason for it. And then, I guess we can get on the road early on Friday. I mean, it is supposed to snow all of tomorrow and all of Friday in Vermont. Which, I mean, no matter which route I take, there will be a mountain involved. And, the more I drive over Brandon Gap, the more I realize that is a smaller mountain than the one that goes by Snow Bowl. I mean, maybe that is why there is no skiing around Brandon? I should really look at a map one of these days.

I still don't know what to do with the rest of the month. I mean, I should cancel the reading in the City on the 17th, I think. I mean, if I postpone it for one more month then I can finish this racist Albany job before March. Then I won't need to worry about money for a while and I will be free to do all the things I want to do in March. Like the maple syrup production. And, I mean, PegLeg is coming to town. And G has some plays happening. I mean, if I just buckle down and work, then I can have a better sense of freedom. Pay Professor Curly back for Beaver Haus stuff. Train for the radio. I mean, February is going to suck, but so what? Four weeks of shit work, and then I will have money. Glorious money. To buy more t-shirts. Maybe get a new sign made for the Farmers Market? I mean, I don't think Grit is going to be selling cookies this year. I mean, I can tell Teresa is almost finished with Dishwasher. That will be a huge amount of work for me when that gets done. Also, the book on tape. I need to do some thinking about Hilarious. The thing at PS/NY on April 22nd. I mean, there are things that need my attention. All in March. And also, the week of work in Portland. I mean, if I am smart, I will delay my gratification until April. And then it is on! I just need to make some calls and plan some shit out. Which is kind of hard when you are working all day and your phone dies because you are an idiot and forget your charger in the hotel room. I mean, I can't catch a break. Against all odds. I mean, the story of my life. I really should write that book:

Against All Odds: One Man's Unique And Heartbreaking Struggles With Being Straight And Male In A Time When Being Straight And Male Is More Difficult Than It Used To Be.

I mean, Jayboo thought he was hilarious today when he told me the show idea that he had for television. It was Queer Eye for the Straight Guy but in Reverse! Some bro would go around and tell gay men to dress frumpy. Because, if they can stereotype straight White guys why can't we stereotype Gay men? It is just so unfair. I mean, whatever, he doesn't not have a point. But his point is stupid and it will most definitely backfire on him. Like when a certain theater asshole decided to make a movie about me being straight and White and instead it just made them look like a exploitative douche bag. I mean, can you still say douche bag? I mean, I use doucher all the time, but the idea of a douche itself is kind of, I mean, the 50's called and they want their female shame back. But doucher kind of skirts that line. But then again, Jack's brother Peter used to always call me a douche. And it bugged the shit out of me. So, I mean, not because of the female connotations or whatever, but because it was kind of a dick insult. Like calling someone undeveloped or something. Like, I don't know, naturally a shit person. Which, I mean, the term "Fucko" falls under those same guidelines. It is just so dismissive for some reason. Like, somehow I am a lesser person for having different thoughts and ideas than that person. But, I mean, I don't know. It is probably projection on my part. But so what? I mean, calling someone a douche is the same as calling them a fag in the 90's. If you ask me. I mean, maybe I am wrong, but calling someone a doucher is slightly different. Like it is on purpose that they are being an asshole. But calling someone a douche is just saying they are an asshole to the bone. I mean, bro-culture. It is a fine wine. Nuanced and just a real nice Spring breeze of complicated thought. I mean, whatever. I should stop calling people douchers. I mean, I always qualify it with the term MAGA. Doesn't that make it better? I mean, it is very specific towards a very unpleasant and un-American contingent of Society. I mean, right? Whatever. I can't argue my way out of this. I know I am wrong. So be it.

Alright. I gotta go. My phone is ringing off the hook. I should answer it. Smell ya on the flip side.