[94] Screed City

[94]

02/08/2022 Tuesday. Kitchen Microwave. Beaver Haus. Lower Granville, Vermont.

The jury is still out on the homemade Ticklers. Brother Luke thinks that champagne yeast is what I should be using. Not industrial strength HammerBlow brand all-purpose yeast. I mean, I am starting to get a taste for it. As is. I mean, I added a little cranberry flavoring. The second batch is better than the first. Who knows? Maybe it just needs more time as well? I really don't know. But it is nice to have to deal with aluminum cans. And it is nice to stick it to Big Tickler. I mean, that is what Professor Curly calls me sometimes. So, sorry if that is confusing. But I mean, I know the Ticklers I get at the grocery is a scam. Big Tickler knows it is a scam. I mean, I now have proof it is a scam. Plus, it is better for the environment. I mean, I should name the stuff FU Ticklers. I mean, I don't know how my body is taking the change. I know I am drinking less. But that doesn't mean that much. As I have been slowly decreasing my Tickler intake over these last few months. But I have been having a some pretty weird dreams every night. Dreams about tacos and my grandpa and cows. I mean, there really is some cabin fever happening right now. And with all the unknown work stuff and money stuff and book stuff and syrup stuff and future stuff. I mean, I guess what I am saying is, I am sick of Winter. How I can change anything about that, I don't know, but I guess it is nice to know that.

The work in Albany has been codified. I am starting the job again on the 24th. Which means Sunday evenings travelling to Albany. Then working five days. Then coming back to Vermont. Having one day off and going back that Sunday. I mean, it is what it is. The pay is like $75 an hour, so I won't shake my nards at that, but is it worth it? Probably. Will it be annoying? Yes. Will it take way too long? Most definitely. Butwhatever. I am doing that reading next Thursday, the 17th. In the City. Then I will come back and have to buckle down.

I mean, this second batch of Ticklers really is different than the first. It is clearer and has less stinks. I think part of it too is that I had it in the fridge for longer. And the lid kept some of the carbon dioxide in. So it is a little bit fizzy. Not as fizzy as I would like, but I still have to make a decision about that. Do I buy a gasser? I don't mind them. I just don't like how they look. Plus they take up too much counter space. And as much as I would like to buy a little keg and get a canister of gas and make the shit real proper, that is quite a leap, for me. I mean, remember when Jerry was trying to break up with his girlfriend so he could date her roommate and so he suggested a threesome and it backfired? Because she was into it? And he was like:

"I can't be an orgy guy. There is all those lubes and lotions and stuff. It is a whole lifestyle change." Something like that.

[insert Seinfeld orgy video]

I heard on good authority that my visual aides are helpful. Both PegLeg and Aunt Dianne agreed. I mean, a little spice to the conversation. I mean, maybe eventually I will have like footnotes and reference materials included in these screeds. Make it official. I mean, why not? If I can't get a Wikipedia page, maybe I can create an environment where I can use myself as reference for myself and do like a Ponzi Scheme Wikipedia? Why not? The whole Wikipedia bullshit is nonsense anyway. A gate keeper for a gate keeper. Not that having a Wikipedia page is really anything worth striving to, I do find it very annoying that you basically need to have a Wikipedia page before you can have a Wikipedia page.

The Screed City Radio shirts arrived. And they are fantastic. Now I just need to harass the dude. Although, it is looking like a plan for maybe May. I mean, with this Albany job and then the syrup season and then Brother Luke has a month of brewery work for me. I mean, it will be a crazy amount of time-suck. I really have to do the Dishwasher edit tomorrow. I hope I can get some good sleep tonight. Last night I fell asleep very easy. Slept very hard until about three in the morning. Then nothing for about two hours. Then I fell asleep again and managed to sleep until 8a. Which, I mean, that would have been just fine, except that the day was Vermont-style dreary. Stuck inside. Nothing to really do. I mean, there was all sorts of shit to do, I just didn't want to do it. I wanted to go out for a walk and clear my head. But because I was logy and confused about plans I was trying to make, I never really got my engine running as the bridesmaids say. So, I mean, I did make a lot of phone calls today. I worked a little bit on some sound stuff for the Donkey BOT [Book on Tape] but it wasn't enough. Tomorrow is Wednesday. I need to get over to the Compound and chop some logs. I need to do some editing. I need to transfer some video for the reading next Thursday. I need to make sure the house is clean so I don't end up causing grief. I mean, I have a whole lot of nothing and a whole lot of everything to do. I mean, if the idea is to do the Dishwasher book launch by April 22nd. That is soon. Very soon. I mean, I don't even know. Everything is starting to get crammed together.

I mean, a hot sauce I made was acting weird the last few days. It kept leaking out. I thought I had fixed the problem. But I didn't. Something was wrong. It kept leaking. I decided it was a bad batch. A very active batch that needed to go back to the fermenting board. And since it was just a four ounce bottle I was just going to give up on it. Like, I mean, open it up, dump it in the compost bucket and forget all about it. But that did not happen. What happened instead was, I took the bottle over to the sink. Started to take the lid off. Air started to shoot out. So what? The thing was active. Nothing new. But then, BLAMMO! Hot sauce went everywhere. All over the clean dishes. The walls. The sink. The window. My hoodie. My hands. My glasses. I mean, it was insane. I found that very frustrating. I mean, I don't even know what batch that hot sauce came from. None of the others did that shit. I started cleaning the mess up. Still thinking I would dump the hot sauce in the compost, but then I smelled it. I won't lie. It smelled really good. I left the lid off of it and put it on the counter. I have had four steak tacos today. With white onion and jalapeños and chunked cheddar cheese, on double corn tortillas. With a squirt of lime. A sprinkle of salt. I mean, I won't lie. It is the best one yet. I mean, that is my problem. I need better containers. But I just can't bring myself to buy them. I went on the computer today to buy some. I just couldn't push the button. I don't know why. I know I need them. They are cheap enough. Like a dollar a piece. With tight lids that won't cause leaks and explosions. But still, I feel like I am building a house of things now. There is just too many failed experiments. And what do I do with the other detritus that I have already gathered together? I mean, once you use a thing for a hot sauce it is useless for other things. The same goes for brewing stuff. Or pickling stuff. I mean, it's not single use, but it is single purpose. I mean, I just need an industrial kitchen with industrial amounts of space and industrial amounts of different containers. Between the Cubby Bubbys, the hot sauces, the micro-Ticklers, and who knows what will come next, I mean, I feel like I am having commitment issues. I need to retool. Or something. But then again, things are starting to really take off. I mean, what I really need is for Professor Curly to win the MacArthur Grant. I mean, is that too much to ask? I would do it myself, but I am having trouble getting my Wikipedia page up. And that is the first step. That and a million NY Times articles written about you. Which, as much as I hate those fuckers, they do give PC plenty of coverage. And I relish that. They should. For good reason. I mean, I would read the article about Professor Curly saving the Rom-Com. Jenny from the Block? Not so much.

I mean, we are working on that Rom-Com. I need to add that to my roster. It is half-written. It is instead falling into this intermediate space where the next cookbook lies. I need to give things a rest. Which, maybe it is time? Time to shift focus. I mean, we are coming up on the second anniversary of the Plague. When it all started. I think it is happening. Whether it is smart or not, it is happening. The end is in sight. I mean, the masks will go away first. Then the restrictions. The useless phony passports. I mean, I really find the vaccine passport to be the funniest part of all of this. The masks, I understand, they work. The science has been proven over and over. But the passports? The vaxx cards? Even the idiots buying fake ones? I mean, you could just take a picture of someone else's vaccine card and white-out the name and scribble your own name in, take a picture and voila, there you go. Bob is your bridesmaids. But for some reason all this resistance, all this theater. I mean, I understand the impetus, but I do find it very funny. It is as bad as the Big Tickler scam. You just pay the prices because that is what they cost. There is no foundation in reality. I mean, people who care about other people will just get the vaccine. Everyone else could just lie. But because Americans are actually stupid, we are fighting this culture war that will evaporate the second that we decide this thing if over. Which we have. And there will be no part two to it. There will be no, "Did you see how they locked us all down? Freedem!" It won't work. The second it goes away there is no argument against it. I mean, "Are you saying that this thing that killed one million Americans in two short years is something we should have just ignored? The same assholes that spent eight years plus crying about Benghazi? When only nine Americans died?" I mean, I know they will, but nobody will care. They will just be glad that it is over. Nobody will want to talk about it. That is the reason that Desantis will not go to jail. And the reason that Status Cuomo will not go to jail. All crime is political in nature. From the Black boy stealing a pack of chewing gum to the White billionaire stealing millions of dollars of tax money. We have two systems of laws. And I think it is funny that for some reason we thought that Vaxx cards would actually mean anything. But we did. And it probably worked in some sense of the word. What that word is, I don't know. But I do know a bunch of totally idiotic morons paid high dollar for fake vaxx cards. When all they really need to do was go on the computer and print out a copy of someone else's, put their own name in the slot and take a picture from their phone. I mean, I don't know why, but to me, that seems like the craziest thing that has happened during this time. Half the country exposing themselves as selfish, racist, idiots and assholes. And then! Doubling down about it. It won't last. It can't last. I mean, we have learned that there is a huge amount of people in America that really want us to be a fascist state. But so what? We have known that since Reagan. Since 9/11. And then the Obama years. That threat is not going away. But my god! I mean, all they do is hold up dead puppies to kick and then tell us that we killed the puppies. It is really weird. On one hand we are talking about health care and climate change, and then the other hand, Birthers and Inside Job. Anti-history, anti-Semitic, forced labor, pro-rape, racist, Jesus flag waving American Nazi's. Too stupid to fake a vaxx card, Fuddruckers Rebellionists that get angry with you because you want the work site to be safe. That, for some reason dying at work is some sort of noble thing to do. I don't get it. I really don't. Society will still be here in 20 years. 30 years. 100 years. I don't really think that having billionaires on earth is going to somehow save me from working. I mean, I will work. You have to work to make money. So what? But does that mean I should die in a coal mine? I mean, would I rather starve to death or die from Black Lung? I mean, I would rather starve to death. At least then, I would stand a chance. Getting sick from working is pretty fucked up, if you ask me. But then again, I only make enough money to pay for the shit I use to live. I don't think I am going to win the lottery any time soon. I was born poor, I will die poor. That doesn't bother me. But I don't think it is somehow noble to suffer for Capitalism. Not when all it means is that I live the same life I was going to live anyway. I mean, show me a better way out and I will talk to you. But until that happens, I mean, shit, I can't even get a Wikipedia page because the NY Times thinks I am garbage. I mean, and you are too stupid to fake a vaxx card so that means I am on your side? Your "Freedem" is dumber than my freedom. My freedom at least helps me in the future. Your "Freedem" just makes you selfish and a liar. Wave your Jesus around all you want, I think Jesus was great. I also think Siddhartha was great. But what have they done for me lately? I mean, take freedom away from my female friends and my male friends that identify as females and my female friends that identify as male friends and my Black friends and my Brown friends and my Lesbian friends and all the Fags and all the Muslims and all the Jews and all the Immigrants that make America special. I mean, fuck you! That is all I can say. There are two things happening in America right now, one of them is pure shit. And I don't know what to say about it because it is just so very stupid. So very selfish. So very antithetical to what America is that it can really go fuck itself. And then the other part. The other contingent that is kind of just everyone else. And it is neither good nor bad. Just regular stuff moving forward. I mean, I am sorry, Obama sucked, but if we had 12 Obamas, I mean, even eight Obamas, four Obamas, we would be heading in the right direction. But taking away voting rights for Black people, body rights for Women, anti-Democracy, anti-Climate, anti-Everything American just because a few people are triggered by Fuddruckers having a mask policy, I mean. I mean, they tried to kill the Governor of Michigan.

I mean, this isn't a Culture War, it is just a bunch of idiots getting distracted by stupid things that mean nothing. And since we have no outlet we have no choice but to suffer the typewriter setting from the Bullies that are holding us down on the playground.

Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

I mean, no offense, but that Facebook page is doing nothing for you. You can pretend it is, but is isn't. There are other ways around it. Twitter too. Instagram is okay. But that is only because of the limitations. Nobody is getting rich here. Even the viral stuff, nobody actually wants. It is all the same. When you are popular you are popular. Go to Buzzfeed if that is what you are looking for. I mean, it is all still the exact same. There is no merit here. Nobody is going to get famous just from being good at what they do. If that was true, Scott and Brother Luke would be millionaires. Two people that work very hard for nothing. I am not saying that other people don't work that hard, but those two specially. Two people I know that work way harder than what they are compensated for. I mean, I don't want to disparage the Publisher and Professor Curly, but what I mean is, in the business that I work in, the one where going to work versus what happens at work. I mean, I have no idea what PC and the Publisher do in their day to day life. Meaning, I do know what Scott and Brother Luke do. I mean, this is what I mean! If the idea of a meritocracy exists, I have not seen it. And I have been here, down in the gutter with these guys for decades now, if the meritocracy exists, I haven't seen it.

That is all I am saying.